When Courtney was in the first grade, her mother said to wear dresses because that’s what little girls do.

When she was in the second grade, her teacher told her she was too loud and that girls are supposed to be quiet and lady-like.

When she was in the third grade, she had to change into her gym clothes because her spaghetti strap tank top would distract the boys.

When she was in the fourth grade, a girl in her class told her she had a mustache. Her mother took her to the nail salon to get it waxed.

When she was in the fifth grade, magazines told her how to “drop five pounds,” how to "look hot this summer,” and how to “get the boys to notice you.”

When she was in the sixth grade, the girls told her she was too fat.

So by the time she was in the seventh grade, the doctors told her she was too skinny; that she needed to go away, be sent away, to get help.

But that couldn’t be true. She was just doing what the magazines said, what the commercials said, what everyone said. She waxed her eyebrows and shaved every hair that wasn't attached to her scalp. Her thighs didn’t touch and she learned how to wear makeup, do her hair, match her clothes. She wore her retainer every night. She studied hard because girls are expected to be pretty, but also to get good grades. She made time to hang out with friends because what’s a girl without her clique of friends and she barely said a word other than "please" and "thank you." She felt that she had done every damn thing right, so why was she being punished?

There she sat in an icy doctor's office sporting clothes made of paper, when a woman asked her, “How would you define yourself?” Courtney responded, “I have brown hair, blue eyes, I’m 5 feet and 3 inches tall…” The woman let her go on and on, but her reply is what turned Courtney into a feminist. The woman looked at her and responded, “You know… you are more than what you look like.”

Courtney wished the woman's words could have cured her, but eating disorders are not curable. What the woman did do though was give Courtney something to live by.

Now, when she went back to school and the girls made fun of her shoes that she thought were cool, she could say, “I am more than what I look like.”

And when she got to high school and a boy told her she “had a nice ass" but that she wasn’t his "type" she could say, “I am more than what I look like.”

And when she applied for a job as a hostess and didn’t get the position, her mother said, “Maybe dress a little nicer or do your hair for the next interview.” She could say, “I am more than what I look like.”

And when her anorexia changed into a binge eating disorder and she suddenly gained 45 pounds, she could tell herself not to panic because “I am more than what I look like.”

And in college when she turned away after a guy tried to kiss her, putting his hands on her anyway, she pushed him and he said, “Wow, you’re stronger than you look.” She could pack her shit and leave his room with a firm, “I am more than what I look like.”

And when she told her professor that she wanted to be a camera operator, but he was worried she would not be strong enough to carry the equipment, she could know he was wrong because “I am more than what I look like.”

A couple months ago she left her classes to get help with her anorexia, that turned into binge eating disorder, which was now bulimia. When students thought she was a freak and her GPA dropped a full point, a teacher told her, “Just because you think you aren’t skinny enough, doesn’t mean you can miss my class,” she could stay hopeful because “I am more than what I look like.”

And even when she gets on the starting line of triathlons among 35-year-old men and they ask her, “Miss, are you in the right place?" she can tell them with confidence that she is and that, “I am more than what I look like.”

To every woman reading this, you are far more than what you look like. You may not be a twig like a Victoria's Secret model, but with your gap-less thighs you can run a marathon. You may not be able to wing your eyeliner, but you can ace that test. Screw the boys who want a blonde or brunette, wait for the boy who wants a sense of humor. Believe in yourself, and believe in the chick next to you because this isn’t a competition and there is no “perfect woman.”

To anyone confused and upset and struggling, Courtney leaves you with this advice, "Be who you are, love yourself and be kind, and the world will be yours. Being a woman is about bravery and accepting yourself no matter what. Maybe my skin is stretched out and my belly button is weird and my ribs are too wide and no matter how hard I try I can't get abs, but I'm working on it. And if someone wants to judge me for what I look like, fuck them, because I'm way more than that."