Something has been hurting me. Something has just not felt right lately, and I figured out what it is.
I'm missing you.
Being distant from you is hard and being away at college reassures me every day me how important you are in my life. I am missing everything about you, and the small things now more than ever are prominent in my mind. I am truly missing the way we would talk about our days. It always starts with "How was work?", "How was your day?", etc. and just sharing what we thought, felt, hated, and loved about our days made me very happy. It was such a nice moment of recollection to talk and decompress from the day. Looking back, I miss that very much.
I'm missing laughing with you. We used to joke about everything. We used to just sit around and get overly dramatic and sarcastic and freak out about things that truly didn’t matter, then laugh at how ridiculous we were. When things get tough at school, I know I can always call you and get a good laugh. I’ll call in an absolute frantic manner and by the end of the conversation, I feel like a crazy person and we end our conversation being out of breath from laughter. Your laugh is one of my favorite sounds and it is by far one of the most contagious things in my life.
More than anything I am missing quality time. Out of all the love languages, quality time is one thing I’m really struggling with these days. It might just be my brain realizing how close we are t a break from school, and I’m just getting anxious... And it’s sinking in how long it’s been since we’ve been remotely near each other. Quality time is something I am 100 percent guilty of taking advantage of when I had it.
If college teaches me anything, it’s that nothing can replace time. And not just the good times, I am becoming more and more grateful of ALL the times. The good times give me memories of love, thankfulness, and happiness. The bad times give me memories of forgiveness, mercy, and strength. The awkward times give me memories of laughter, learning, and growth. In these moments of missing you, all of those moments and more become irreplaceable in my memory. And I would never dream of giving up my worst times with you, because it beats all the times and memories that I am having without you here.
Cheesy, right? Well it’s true and I’m not sorry about it. I had to go full blown Hallmark card/ Lifetime Movie mush because I had to put words down to describe this feeling. Missing someone hurts and it’s not always easy to communicate this feeling verbally, especially when we mostly only communicate through the phone. Basically, I hope you realize just how much I truly miss you and that I appreciate now more than ever the times that we had and the memories we have already built. What keeps me going is looking toward the future, long and short term, and knowing that I get to see you in person. We get to make more memories to cherish during the times we are apart. So no matter where you are and what you’re doing, just know:
I’m missing you.
