To begin, I do not want to be mistaken for the kid that hangs around only underage kids and is the plug for underclassmen because I don't have any pother friends. I do not creepily hang around high school events, nor do I only do things I once did in high school. I have moved on with my life and am finally coming to terms with it. I think we all can agree that change is hard- it doesn't matter how 'chill' or 'easy-going' of a person you are- learning you can't do the same things you used to and everything that you've ever known is changing sucks. College is great and exciting and new- however when it comes to looking back on the way things used to be, it can get emotional. It's all a part of getting older, and realizing that being a kid was being was kinda great, and being an adult is kinda great too. I did everything I was supposed to; went to a school with 40,000 students, joined a sorority, am active in three clubs, and have fantastic friends- yet I still miss my small-town high school in some ways.

Senior year of high school could not go fast enough, between drama and the anticipation to start my life anew at a ginormous University, I was ready to get it over with. My last Homecoming, Prom, Graduation- all were just a blur. Looking back, I wish I would've slowed down and enjoyed them more. But not even just the rudimentary high school things- I wish I would've enjoyed the feeling of waking up in my own bed with certainty every morning. The joy of going to my kitchen to see my mom sitting at the counter, to hear my doggos outside. To feel at home. Once you go away to college- things will never be the same. Not to be a negative Nelly, that isn't all bad; change is often wonderful. However, the climb to change can be challenging and emotional. The feeling of returning home but feeling out of place never came to me under I returned for the first weekend home from school. Pretty soon I began to feel my once high school-haven turn into some guest room I was only temporarily filling for whatever the time may be.

I realized that returning home, it now felt weird to see or spend time with kids still in high school. While I was within the walls of my small-town school, it never felt awkward to speak to underclassmen- now I just feel creepy when I make eye contact with them or talk to them for too long. Coming back to football games is now weird, because as a college student you are no longer a part of the high school student section- yet you're stuck in the limbo of sitting with parents or pretending to still be 15.

When I say "I miss high school", I'm not referring to waking up at 8 A.M. everyday and having to ask to use the restroom. I am referring to the sense of stability, and ease that comes with high school. I high school, you know who and what you are. You know what you like and don't like. You know what you like to do in your free time, and you can do them because everyone else your age does them. However, coming back from college changes everything. Friends and faces change, people get jobs or married or have kids. The real world changes everyone- well almost everyone. Often when I go home I run into the kids that still think they are 15, but are actually just 21 year old man-children and women. They still hang out with the same people, they do the same activities, and they dress the same way as they did in high school. And with every year that passes, they somehow keep going back and making more friends from our high school than they had when they graduated. They are stuck, not moving forward, and for the most part they aren't even enrolled in classes because they are "taking two years off". Not to slam gap years, there are plenty of people I personally know that have benefitted from a gap year- these are not the case. I look at these fellow classmates of mine, and think to myself fearfully "oh God, is that what I'm like?". But, I can safely say that for the most part, no- I am not still stuck in high school like the latter. I am active in my college life- I love college! I just miss being able to cheer in high school. I miss having homecoming week to look forward too. I also miss having my mom make me dinner every night as a kid, and being able to watch Disney Channel without being judged. The fact that I miss more than just solely high school, and that I have successfully acclimated to my new lifestyle shows me that I have not just become the cliche high school jock that returns to reunions stuck on their high school legacy.

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The fact of it is- you can be successful in life, loving where you're at while still look back on fond memories and missing them. They don't have to be just high school memories, it just so happens that most of them are because high school was such a memorable time in most of our lives whether we like it or not.

Do not feel ashamed for reminiscing homecoming, or for not relating to the kids that claim they don't miss high school. If they don't it's fine. If you do- it' also fine.

The main point here is that even if you do everything you're supposed to- or even if you don't- chances are you will miss some parts of your earlier days, and will somehow think that things 'were easier' back then, whether they truly were or weren't. It is normal to feel this way and to be nervous of the changes happening and not comfortable. It is a part of growing up- it's the part we somehow all weren't taught in high school. Just wherever you are, keep in mind that in five years you will look back and only remember the truly important things that happened. So enjoy everything between to make the memories count.