It was on a cold afternoon in November that I received the tragic news. Delivered by my mother over the phone, I was informed that a young girl at Ohio Northern University had passed away. Given that it is a small campus, many of the students knew her, my sister being one of them. My heart may have literally skipped a beat – and not in a good way – when I heard the word suicide. A feeling of despair weighed heavily on my shoulders. As tears rolled down my face, I felt such a strong sense of empathy which few would truly understand. In the months that followed, my mind kept coming back to this. As I was sitting around the table enjoying a Christmas dinner with my family, I could not help but think about the family of that girl who would be spending their holiday mourning the loss of a loved one. I watched as everyone around me moved on with their lives. I watched the world keep spinning, knowing that someone else’s world was falling apart.

Some would be bewildered by my reaction, wondering how I could shed tears for someone I do not even know. What they don’t understand is that I knew her all too well. All too well I know the profound solitude she felt. All too well I know the aching of a broken heart. I know the feeling of the end when the truth is, it is only just the beginning. All too well I know the ongoing struggle with depression which can never be fully understood.

I am not the only one who is familiar with this illness. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, Major Depressive Disorder affects approximately 14.8 million American adults. I am one of them, and I am here to tell you that you are not alone. This is a message to the millions of people struggling with mental illness. If you have ever suffered from depression, this message is for you. If you’ve ever felt lost and alone, like no one understands you, this message is for you. If you’ve ever felt hopeless, useless, or unloved, this message is for you. If you’ve ever felt overcome by the burdens of life, filled with regret, anger, or shame, this message is for you. If you know anyone who has felt this way, anyone who has battled with depression, anyone who has lost the fight, this message is for you.

It has been said that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Though the temptation to take your life cannot be fully understood unless you have been in that place. It’s a horrible feeling. It is a feeling of deep despair. It is the feeling of being trapped in this life with no way out. People always say to live in the moment, but for those of us who suffer from mental illness, we must refrain from acting in a moment of misery. No matter how hard it gets, you must remember that the feeling will not last forever. You have to think of the people around you, such as your family and your friends. Even if you don’t think they care, I can guarantee there is someone who does. I can say with certainty that I care. I cry for those even who I do not know, because I feel so deeply for them. And I should not even need to mention the countless support groups and all the psychological care which is made available by people who care. I myself have reaped many benefits from the amazing counseling services offered at Ashland University, one of the many schools filled with faculty who truly care and who desire nothing more than to make a difference in the lives of their students.

Whether you struggle with depression or not, you can be of help to someone else. The issue is that nobody ever expects these things to happen. Sometimes the people who look the happiest are the ones who need help the most. Sometimes the people who seem like they have it all together are the ones who are falling apart inside. The best thing we can do as humans is to love one another. Always keep in mind that you do not know what people are going through. Don’t judge a book by its cover – a little cliché saying which holds so much truth. Also remember that it is the little things that count. A quote by Leo Buscalgia reads, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all which have the potential to turn a life around.”

Unfortunately, suicides occur all the time. On average, 1,100 students across college campuses nationally commit suicide, according to Active Minds, an organization intended on creating a more active dialogue about mental health among students. Chances are you’ve heard one of these terrible incidents. Chances are there are a lot more than you realize. Chances are there are more to come, but there’s also a chance to prevent them. I hope that these tragic events will serve as a motivation for change. Reach out to others, and spread kindness. As for those of you suffering from mental illness, do not let it win. Stay strong, have hope for the future, and, above all, remember that you are not the only one. I do not know the girl who took her life that cold November day, nor do I know what was going on in her life that may have led her to an act of such desperation. What I do know is that she must have felt very alone, and I know for certain that she is not the only one. From my personal experience I can say that one of the worst factors in depression is the loneliness which accompanies it, and the feeling that no one really understands you. But just think of it this way: If there are a million other people out there who feel as alone as you do, are you truly alone?