1stress noun \ˈstres
Psychological terms related: hysteria, hypochondriac, pathological, neurotic, insomniac, caffeine dependent, narcoleptic, inconsolable, margarita urgency, margarita necessity, margarita requirement.
Stress used in a sentence:
"Mom, I’m so stressed. Every other text I send either has the word 'ugh' 'fml' or 'I literally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and psychologically can…not.' No I’m fine mom, nope I’m not stressed…I just made you and grandma a nice sweater that’s 70 percent tears, 15 percent hopelessness, 10 percent thoughts of dropping out of school and selling my soul, 3 percent cotton and 2 percent polyester…but no, no I’m not stressed.”
Have no fear. The limit to stress does exist, here are some tips to coping with stress for finals week. (As told by "Mean Girls")
1. Eat some carbs.
No, but really, I know stress-eating is culturally frowned upon 9 out of 10 times, but this is your 1 out of 10 moment of opportunity to just let it happen.
2. If you prefer your carbs and your muffins unbuttered… (Because you’re like a newly inducted vegan or whatever) eat a banana.
Or if you’re feeling a little “girls gone wild," a potato. Potassium, which is in both bananas and spuds, helps regulate blood pressure, which rises during times of stress. Hint hint, fries are potatoes (Amen and Hallelujah).
3. Don’t be afraid to let it out.
I know finals have you wishing you could just bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles, but when you can't achieve that, don’t be afraid to shed a tear or two, or seven… hundred. Holding in stress and suppressing your emotions can make a breakdown happen ASAP Rocky and most likely ten times worse.
4. Try this “so zen” pressure point.
Feeling like you totally want to just stab Caesar? Try putting pressure in-between your second and third knuckle (pointer and middle finger.) It helps create a sense of instant calmness by activating nerves to get rid of little bits of nervousness or stress.
5. Sit down somewhere quiet, close your eyes and breathe.
Meditating doesn’t require you to be “so zen” or the fourth distant, half-removed cousin of Buddha. Just take two minutes to yourself to sit up straight, close your eyes and breathe. Inhale through your nose, hold it for three seconds and then let it all out through your mouth. Ahhh…
6. A little retail therapy never hurt anyone, right?
Hey, I know we’re on a tight student budget, so if you want to meander on down to your local Salvation Army or Goodwill, no shame. You go Glen Coco. 
7. Watch a viral video.
Whether this is a form of avoidance or relaxation technique -- I can’t necessarily disclose, but either way laughing is a way of reducing stress. You know you’ve hit an all-time low of boredom or desperation when you succumb to opening your Vine account… But you can only laugh so many times until you hate the words “damn” and “Daniel” in the same sentence, so you should be able to get back to studying in no time.
8. Drop it like it’s hot.
Put on some gangster rap or some TSwizzle and dance and sing like you’ve actually got nothing to worry about. (Quite possibly another avoidance technique but work with me here.)
9. Don’t become victimized by your overload of work.
Your bed is more comfortable than the library desk you’re both drooling and sleeping on right now. Just go home, it's 4 a.m. You need some sleep to have the energy to try and survive the remainder of finals week tomorrow.
Who here has been personally victimized by professor’s failing to realize you have five other classes to worry about?
10. Kissing.
Kissing releases endorphins. Whether you want to accomplish this by swiping right on Tinder or by posting on your class of 2017’s Facebook page... I won’t judge. You still go Glen Coco.
11. And if all else fails, you always have your friend Rita to turn to -- MargaRITA
12. And if all else fails… again... Remember you can always drop out and become a weather forecaster.
If you’re having trouble finding local opportunities, Monster.com is always a go-to… And if that fails, Craigslist… Either way, serving your local news station is a definite resume builder and will look exceptional on your LinkedIn profile. You’re still going Glen Coco.
