To be selfless-- what does that mean? People often say that the best people are selfless and put others first. Sure, that's great, but when you start putting yourself last in the wrong positions and hindering your ability to be happy and successful, how are you being the best person that you can be? Sometimes, you have to be selfish. You have to be selfish when it comes to your own happiness. You have to be selfish when it comes to your life.

I'm not saying to completely abandon the thought of how your actions will effect others. I'm simply just suggesting to consider how your actions will effect you as well. Too often, people, including myself, put themselves on the back burner. They break their backs for the people in their lives that honestly wouldn't do the same. But in the end, are you truly helping them? Or are you getting yourself hurt and in trouble while they stay put in the same mental state as before?

Relationships are hard. Friendships are hard. We like to make excuses for the toxic people in our lives; we like to pretend we can fix their flaws that anchor us down. It's almost as if people justify staying with someone who consistently brings you down, whether that be a close friend or more than a friend, by treating them like a charity which only you can aid to. And that's supposed to be selflessness?

That's you looking for a reason to stick to your comfortable life. The life where you don't think about yourself out of fear that if you finally put yourself first for once, you'd be the bad guy in the situation. The truth is, they don't need you. They were fine before you, and they'll be fine after you, and they know that. Which is why they remind you how much you need them, but you don't. Here's a crazy idea: you were fine before them, and you'll be fine after them too.

There's this ongoing battle between selfishness and selflessness. Being considered selfish has this negative connotation, but is being selfish always a bad thing? We need to be selfish every now and then. If you're always giving everyone everything you can, when do you stop? How long of giving all of yourself to everyone else before you run out of you? You need to learn to care about yourself and resect yourself before you can expect someone else to do that for you.

So it's okay if you put yourself first sometimes. Actually, it's great. It means that you respect yourself, love yourself, stand up for yourself and most importantly, it means that you are confident enough in your own happiness, so then you can share it with others.