You Don't Need To Put A Ring On It To Make It Official

You Don't Need To Put A Ring On It To Make It Official

Marriage is just a word. You don't need to have it to be fully committed.


In the past, marriage was an institution used to create alliances between kingdoms. It was used to make families more connected and be able to support each other's in-laws economically. Marriage was also used as a way for the men to protect the women and make sure that they are taken care of. In some cultures, marriage still is used for that purpose.

Slowly, this concept evolved into something to do with that beautiful feeling of love. Loving your significant other so much that you throw a grand party and exchange rings and promise to be in each other's lives forever. It has a lot to do with religion, as well. Some want to be married, with God as a witness, and that's totally fine.

However, you do not necessarily have to be married to truly give someone your 100 percent. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the day after your wedding day, everything between you and your husband/wife should be the same. You should have always loved each other 100 percent even before you were married. Because once you know they are the one, you should've already fully committed to them the second you knew. You should not need to marry someone to make it official.

I truly believe that marriage is a social expectation.

Most couples spend thousands of dollars on grand parties to show the world how much they love each other. Which is fine. However, some people tend to equate how grand a wedding is to how much a couple loves each other, which is so wrong. And sometimes the stress that couples go through during that whole process can create shifts in their relationship which will affect them greatly in the future. I'm not saying marriage is the worst thing a couple can do, however, is there really such a big difference in your relationship just because you have it on paper?

It should be more socially acceptable for people to date and just be happy rather than having the pressure to marry someone and make it official. Because once a couple is married, then they are expected to have kids. Buy a house. Buy a car. If a couple loves each other so much and knows that they are each others' soulmates, you don't need to follow the societal expectation of marriage to make it truly official.

I've been to a couple weddings myself and it is always so beautiful to witness the love between each couple. However, I feel as though some couples tend to break apart once they are married. This can be due to the pressure to have babies from relatives, buying a house, and several other financial and social commitments they have to worry about. When a couple is dating, they focus on each other rather than worry about the expectations they have to complete due to this idea of marriage. Sometimes, it is important to go with the flow and let things figure themselves out rather than fall prey to doing whatever society expects you to do.

In the end, love is love. And only you and your partner have to know how much affection you have for each other. If you truly know that, you don't need anything else. If you want to marry, make sure it's your decision. Not what your parents want. Or what your relatives want. Because in the end, the love you have for each other should not change, regardless. Marriage does not make your love any more official than it already should be.

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To The Person Who Left An Abusive Relationship, You Will Find Your Freedom

Trust me, I know its hard and the truth is, it only gets better with time.


Every day I look in the mirror and all I see is a person who is lost, confused, hurt, and angry. I'm lost because he made me think I was someone that I was not, and I'm confused because now that he is gone from my life I do not know what to believe and I don't even know if I have a personality disorder that he claimed I had.

Better yet I don't know if I am a good person everyone says I am. I'm angry because I loved this guy more than I love myself and I trusted him with all my feelings and even my rough upbringing. Someway, somehow he led me to believe that everything about me he said is true.

Every day is an uphill battle for me. I have to wake up every day and be strong for myself. I have to keep reminding myself that he is never going to change and that I am better off without him. I have to tell myself that I am a beautiful person, even on days where it's hard to believe. Some days are better than other days. I admit there are times when I just want to give up.

Because of him, I am nonchalant in public settings because I am still afraid that if I express my emotions, I am crazy. Although I am a genuine person I can act cold and for that I am sorry. I am afraid that whatever emotion I express I would get belittled. I honestly do not know when things will get better to the point where I can express my emotions but I am slowly getting there.

I still remember the night that I had almost committed suicide because of words that were said about me a few days prior. He made me feel ugly both on the inside and out, and even though I had expressed to him how things that he says hurts me, it would always lead to him acting like he was the victim, when in reality I was the victim.

It had seemed like I was never pretty to him and I became alone to where I started having sex with another guy to fill the void (although that itself was not a good idea).

Every day I have to remind myself that I am the only person I have. This relationship taught me how cruel people can be even if it is not in a physical way. I thank the man above me every day for getting me out of that relationship because had I graduated and moved in with him, things could have been more worse. Thanks to people who were also in his life, I got to learn the harsh truths about him and how lucky I am.

People may ask why I stayed with him for as long as I did although I had seen so many red flags. What I will say is that when I met him I was in a bad place already. I just wanted someone who I can go to and who can take my mind off of the things that were going on in my own life. I wanted someone who wouldn't make me feel as if I had no friends and that I was unlikable. I guess when it came to finding an outlet through other people I always have bad luck.

Getting out of a toxic relationship is hard but at the end of the day, it is worth it. One thing that people need to know is that time heals all wounds but it is also the things you do that helps as well.

After my break-up, I started writing more and reaching out to friends. I also got the haircut that I always wanted but my ex said was "too masculine." I started to smile more and become a bit more confident knowing that I didn't need to impress anyone but myself. That is what freedom from abuse looks like.

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