The summer Olympics is a very special time that only comes once every four years. All of the world’s greatest athletes come together to compete for the gold. Such on occasion brings high viewership millions of fans tune in to watch records shatter by a new generation of athletes. You were thrilled to see Michael Phelps take home the gold, you cringed at Miguel Navia’s false start, and you definitely watched undefeated beach volleyball legend Kerri Walsh Jennings for all the wrong reasons. But don’t worry, because another Olympic record was set, as Dayton, Ohio resident Mark Peterson accidentally paid attention to the score of last night’s game. This is the first time an American man has followed the point progression of the game in living memory.

“I don’t know what came over me, it’s not like me to take my eyes off of girls in bikinis” said Peterson, “There I was in front of the TV, drinking some beers with the boys, and all of a sudden I saw that the score was 14 to 9, and the United States was going to win. All of a sudden the only thing that mattered was the game.”

Peterson’s friends, who couldn’t have cared less about the score felt affronted at his strange behavior.

“Yeah, I mean I enjoy the sport as much as the next guy,” said Petersons friend, “But when Mark was shushing us for talking while the ball was being served, I was honestly surprised.”

Peterson defended his actions by saying, “The guys needed to shut up, with the US only up by three points in the final round it was do or die time. I’m sorry, but the tension of that game was palpable, and I’m sorry they couldn’t seem to focus on it.”

Peterson was certainly more interested in the game than anything else. His friends saw him stand up and cheer every time the American team spiked a ball right through their opponent’s defenses. Unfortunately, his friends did not share his interest, and they became frustrated as he continually cheered and shouted about the closeness of the contest.

“What a match, what a match!” he would exclaim for the rest of the day, “The Chinese didn’t stand a chance! I never thought a sport could be so exciting, really, everyone should watch the next game, I promise it won’t disappoint!”