Just Because You're Not Where You Want To Be, Doesn't Mean You're Not Making Progress

Just Because You're Not Where You Want To Be, Doesn't Mean You're Not Making Progress

The journey is still underway.
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A few days ago, I had one of those days. You know what I mean, right?

I mean one of those days where I can’t stand how I look. One of those days where I stand in front of the mirror and pick out every little flaw that I dislike about myself. Things that I wish I could change. I’d be lying if I said that the list was short.

I stand there and compare. Well, she has a slimmer waist. She has clearer skin. She probably doesn’t go through this exact same thing.

I can’t help it. I try my hardest to combat those thoughts but they approach far more quickly and deadly this time than they did the last.

We all get this way, don’t we? We all know that there are things about ourselves that we wish we could change. That’s why we make New Year’s resolutions, isn’t it?

We want to be kinder. We want to eat healthier. We want to give more. We want to get in shape. We want to drink more water.

There’s this never-ending list of characteristics that we wish we could possess. If you’re anything like me, your New Year’s resolutions are long since gone (if we’re being honest, did we ever even begin them?), and the judgmental little devil on our shoulder is speaking louder and louder and the days go on.

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Something was different when I had yet another one of “those days.” As I stood there, staring at my imperfections in the mirror, I felt this message be laid upon my heart.

“It’s possible to desire change without degrading who you are right now, in this exact moment.”

It was overwhelmingly clear to me in that moment. I was sitting there, completely tearing myself to shreds, focusing on the journey ahead rather than how far I’ve come.

If I look at where I used to be: a shattered, incomplete girl who turned to razor blades instead of God to fill the father-shaped hole in her heart, I can’t help but be proud of the young woman looking back at me in the mirror.

I was so broken. I was a mess. Homeless. Failing classes. Crying myself to sleep at night. Having panic attacks during the day. In endless counseling. Battling the demons associated with divorce and abuse. Depressed beyond measure.

But now, I am so much more. Five years can do a lot to a growing girl. I’m happy. In love with God and the life that He has given me. I’m healed. I’ve found my home.

Sure, there are things about myself that I wish to alter. Things that I WILL alter. Not because I am less than, but because I know that my journey isn’t finished yet.

There’s something so powerful in acknowledging that just because we have room for improvement doesn’t mean we are any less as people.

If we’re being honest, we have to have that drive to become a different person. If we didn’t, we’d be stuck in this endless cycle of complacency that would eventually drive us to insanity. We have to have goals. We have to want to be the absolute best version of ourselves as possible.

It’s natural to have a desire for change - for growth. We should never self assess and find ourselves content with where we are. We should always strive for better. To be better. To love better. To serve better.

If you need to glance back and realize how far you’ve come, then by all means, DO IT! It’s important to remember where you came from in order to remind you where you’re headed. It doesn’t matter what she looks like or what he is good at. Your excursion to a new you isn’t finished yet.

Just because you’re not where you want to be, doesn’t mean that you are any less. You are more. You are so. much. more.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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100 Ways To Practice Self-Care In Your Everyday Life, In 20 Minutes Or Less

Simple ways to start taking care of yourself.

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Life is overwhelming and distracting so it's easy to forget about yourself sometimes, but practicing small self-care acts is easy. Making time for yourself every day isn't selfish and is really good for your mental health. I think it's important for everyone to spend time doing things that make them happy and more calm, even if you only dedicate 20 minutes each day. Putting yourself first can lead to growth so many other aspects of your life.

Obviously, each person is allowed to practice self-care in their own unique way, but here are some ideas to get you started!

1. Do something new. 

2. Make a list of things you need to get done that week. 

3. Drink some hot tea. 

4. Go for a walk on a scenic trail.

5. Paint your nails.

6. Have a good laugh.

7. Buy yourself flowers.

8. Light a candle.

9. Do some tidying up.

10. Don't feel bad for saying 'no.'

11. Listen to music.

12. Slow down.

13. Drink a smoothie.

14. Run mindless errands.

15. Write down your goals for the week.

16. Talk to someone about the future.

17. Wake up early and get coffee. 

18. Take care of a plant. 

19. Take a bubble bath. 

20. Give yourself a compliment.

21. Give a stranger a compliment.

22. Watch a movie.

23. Put your phone down.

24. Declutter your personal space.

25. Go to bed early. 

26. Pray or meditate. 

27. Go for a drive. 

28. Make it a habit to stargaze. 

29. Read a book. 

30. Read poems. 

31. Sing loudly. 

32. Make a list of things you're grateful for. 

33. Drink a lot of water. 

34. Put on make-up for no reason.

35. Watch funny videos. 

36. Take a deep breath. 

37. Distance yourself from negativity. 

38. Unfollow people you don't care to follow on social media. 

39. Have a pajama day. 

40. Read an inspirational book. 

41. Call your parents/ loved ones. 

42. Donate old clothing. 

43. Dedicate a day out of the week to not eating meat. 

44. Do a fun craft or DIY project. 

45. Put on a face mask and relax. 

46. Do a small workout. 

47. Take a power nap. 

48. Listen to a podcast. 

49. Open a window. 

50. Open your curtains in the morning to let in natural light. 

51. Make your bed. 

52. Cook dinner instead of eating out. 

53. Play/ cuddle with an animal. 

54. At the end of the day, think of all the positive things that happened.

55. Moisturize. 

56. Buy a comforting blanket. 

57. Give someone a hug. 

58. Create a vision board. 

59. Have some alone time.

60. Enjoy the sun on your skin. 

61. Dance like nobody is watching.

62. Walk in the rain every once in a while. 

63. Drive with the windows down. 

64. Give someone a gift for no reason. 

65. Get a massage. 

66. Do something that gets your adrenaline running. 

67. Spend the day at the library or a book store. 

68. Organize your work space/ binders. 

69. Spend a weekend in. 

70. Recognize hard work and reward yourself. 

71. Sign up for a work out class. 

72. Eat lunch with a friend. 

73. Spend the day helping others. 

74. Get your hair done. 

75. Have a good cry. 

76. Use sticky notes. 

77. Color code your planner. 

78. Print out pictures and hang them up. 

79. Hang motivational quotes on your mirror and read them when you get ready. 

80. Do random acts of kindness. 

81. Buy fuzzy socks. 

82. Redecorate or rearrange furniture. 

83. Be present. 

84. Set a new years resolution. 

85. Make a bucket list. 

86. Stretch in the morning. 

87. Watch an interesting documentary. 

88. Make a music playlist.

89. Watch the sunrise or sunset. 

90. Explore somewhere new.

91. Be slow to respond to negativity. 

92. Have a game night with friends. 

93. Buy concert tickets. 

94. Have a nightly routine before bed. 

95. Eat your favorite dessert. 

96. Do something you've been putting off. 

97. Invest in essential oils. 

98. Manage your finances. 

99. Buy a new outfit. 

100. Make your own gratitude list. 

Try at least one of these every week and see how you feel! I guarantee you will notice a difference in the way you are living your life.

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Self-Confidence And Self-Love Starts With Acceptance

There is no rulebook to self confidence, but it can be obtained and you should love yourself for who you are.

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Even the loudest, most outgoing person can still struggle with self-confidence, there is no rulebook on how to be confident and comfortable in your own skin. Luckily, self-confidence comes from within and there are ways to start appreciating and coming to terms with yourself.

Self-confidence is such a broad term, but it means being comfortable and, well, confident with who you are as a human.

There is no clear cut way to obtain self-confidence, and I don't believe anyone really has it mastered, but there are some ways to start looking at yourself in a better light.

Although I am talkative, pretty outgoing, and overall confident with who I am, I still struggle with the idea of self-confidence. You look at people who seem as though they have it together and that their life is perfectly in order, but chances are they too struggle with some aspect of their life.

Confidence comes from within, once you learn that you are who you are meant to be and start accepting flaws for what they are, life gets that much easier.

Now, this is all easier said than done, how can someone be 100% confident in their own skin? Well, it all starts with you, if you want to be happy, confident, and secure with who you are, you need to learn how to accept.

People seem to feel the need to fake who they are in order to fit in or to change things in order to feel accepted but that change is temporary. You should never, ever have to change for another person. If someone doesn't like you for who you are then they clearly are not meant to be in your life.

Learn how to come to terms with your flaws. If you feel like you aren't good enough, or that you will never be able to obtain a certain goal, start changing your mindset. Self-confidence can be obtained through your mind and through how you feel about yourself.

Again, there is no rulebook to self-confidence but if you want to start to love yourself and feel that boost of confidence it must come from within and it must come from acceptance and ultimately you will start to learn how to accept yourself for who you are, not who others want you to be.

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