letter to my ex

I Can't Make You Happy But I Can Make Myself Happy

You taught me to be stronger than I thought I was.

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I remember the first time I met you. You were someone who I thought completed me, but little did I know you were someone else.

Six months of our relationship was good until January when you said something that crushed my self-image. My self-esteem was bad enough before you came into my life and you were the last person I had ever thought would emotionally hurt me. Looks are not everything and I had tried to be the best that I could around you. I was never perfect but I tried to accept you for who you were.

You told me that I looked like a woman who had let herself go. And I would look in the mirror every day and question my worth. I woke up every day and questioned my existence. And most of all, I had looked at you and questioned my trust and love for you.

I remember sitting across from my therapist and admitting to him that I had cheated on you. You may think I only had once but to be honest I did it more than that. I don't regret cheating on you but what I do regret is staying with you when I was broken inside. Sex from another guy was a way to boost my self-esteem. It was why we never had major issues until I went home for the summer and saw you again.

I had let myself go to the point that I ended up constantly talking down on you and disrespecting you. I let myself become this jealous and aggressive person because of the way you viewed me and showed no appreciation or support for me.

After we broke up I realized how true my former therapist's words were and how I need to be accountable for myself. That is when I started to let go of those feelings I had towards you and improve my feelings towards myself.

Looking back I learned a few things. I learned to not settle for less than I deserve because I know I deserve someone who loves me for me. If someone respects me I will respect them. I also learned that I cannot make you happy but I can make myself happy. No matter how sexy a woman is for you or the things she does for you, you probably will never be happy because I realized you were insecure and unhappy with your life yourself.

I don't hate you for anything but at the same time, I will be hurt for a while. The only karma I want is me one day being happier, and prettier while you watch me live life and regret those words you told me.

Good luck and goodbye.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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The Easiest Way To Get Over A Breakup

Laying in your pajamas is not going to fix everything.

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Breakups suck. There is no other way to say it. But... the good thing about breakups is that they can be seen as a good thing rather than a bad thing. I think the first step to getting over a breakup is to take time to grieve. Your life is going to be different. A whole person is removed from your life. Removed from your routine.

It's OK to take a day to be sad.

I usually take one to two days to be sad and eat a lot of food. You can't just skip over the loss and think that you will recover. You can't do that. Take your two or so days to be sad. No longer than a week. Don't wallow in your dirty, crumb covered sheets.

Once you have taken your grieving time, get your butt up.

Take a shower and leave your house. Put on your favorite outfit and do whatever you need to to make yourself feel better. Go do something. It can be something as small as getting a coffee or walking with friends. Do something with people. Don't become a recluse and isolate yourself.

Do not post on social media.

It is SO tempting to tweet about how sad you are or post a sad snap but don't. Don't let your ex have that much power over you. Don't give them the satisfaction of how sad you are without them. They are going to move on, so you should too. You should also mute them or unfollow your ex. There is no reason to get upset every time you open your phone and see their face. It's not "childish" or "petty" it's smart.

You have to put yourself first and be selfish at this time.

Once you allow yourself to climb out of your dark hole of pity, jump back into life. Keep your chin up and keep going. The best way to "win" in the breakup is to be happy and move on without them. You may fall, you will get random slip-ups of sadness, but you will be OK. Take what you have learned in the relationship and remember that part. Notice what worked and what didn't.

You are fine, it's just a breakup not the end of the world. You got this.

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