Learning To Love (You) From A Distance | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
relationships

Learning To Love (You) From A Distance

May the space between us allow you to grow into the man I know you'll be.

112
Learning To Love (You) From A Distance
Amari Gilmore

Back in January, after accidentally discovering that Snapchat video of you with her, my life fell apart. I felt pains I'd never felt before. A pain that I could only describe as being like disorienting TV fuzz. Or, like tiny, pinchy needles prodding my skin's soft tissue- plunging deep into my soul's firm foundation of faith in true love. I felt exposed, rubbed raw with the newness of betrayal. I'd never felt pain like that before... but, I digress.

We weren't necessarily dating… so I can't say you cheated on me. But, we definitely had something going for us. I remember the day you and I met up in the middle of the summer to eat burgers at this basic little diner near our school. Every other exchange of words we shared made my stomach crack and crumble; your words created countless earthquake inside me. I shook with sweet anticipation each time your lips parted to speak.

And, I still do. I still shake, break, and crumble at your words; failed promises, re-imagined you-with-her images, and bulls*it excuses seem to have the same effect on me as your kind words once did.

But, I forgave you. And even now, as I write this, I forgive you. My heart hides no hate for you in it. Actually, I love you more now than I loved you months ago. I love you more than the lies your lips spoke into my heart and I love you more than all the times you bailed on me. Recently, I've found myself wondering how to love you better and unfortunately for me (and maybe you) I think separating myself from you would be the best kind of love I could ever give you.

So, here I am, learning to love you from a distance.

In the six months since you chose to love her instead of me, I've made a few decisions. The first, and most important, decision made was about me; I decided to love myself. You helped me realize that no one will ever love me more than I love me. I haven't quite mastered the art of self-love yet, but the days since the Snapchat fiasco have brought me and self-love closer.

I'm happy to report that self-love and I are the best of friends now.

My newly formed friendship with self-love brought on a second decision- I wanted to love you correctly. I decided I wanted you to be happy and I wanted you to know self-love as I know it. I wanted you to plant yourself in a community of people who love you and care for you- I wanted you to grow. And you will. Without me.

Neither of us needs to keep choking on the weeds of our shared past.

We can't go back to random dinner dates, or late night phone calls, or shared pain. I can't accept your hugs as I used to, and I can't share certain thoughts with you like I want to. If there is nothing else I've learned about us, it's that we have so much growing to do- alone.

In the long run, this "love from a distance" thing will be best for us both. I will grow into the flower of a person I am destined to be and you will root and establish yourself in God, and in a community of people whose love you can accept. Maybe one day, we can reconvene our friendship but, until that day comes, I know it's best to stay apart.

The right thing to do is almost never the easy thing to do. But, no decision is ever difficult when made with loving intentions. I intend to set you free: not quite free to love her again... because you guys were not made for each other... but free to love yourself and free to love your life.

I will embrace this new love you from a distance thing because I know its the best thing for you. You are going to flourish in my absence. And, I promise you, ill do the same.

I love you, _____. Please don't forget it. I love you.

#stayencouraged

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

87001
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

11867
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less
Health and Wellness

10 Hygiene Tips For All College Athletes

College athletes, it's time we talk about sports hygiene.

12241
Woman doing pull-ups on bars with sun shining behind her.

I got a request to talk about college athletes hygiene so here it is.

College athletes, I get it, you are busy! From class, to morning workouts, to study table, to practice, and more. But that does not excuse the fact that your hygiene comes first! Here are some tips when it comes to taking care of your self.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments