I Found The Love I Should Have Always Had
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Health and Wellness

I Found The Love I Should Have Always Had

And it's not what you think....You need to love yourself first.

I Found The Love I Should Have Always Had
Bri Nicole

Breakups, they suck. Nobody wants to go through a breakup and some act like they are okay. But, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how long you were together, it still just sucks. Whether it was a day, a few weeks, months, or years, you question everything and why it didn't work. You wonder if you will ever find that person that you can spend your life with and after a while it gets old. Breakup after breakup, beats you down and you don't know how much you can take anymore. You wonder if it's worth it... Fighting for love.

I was that girl... Who always gave her all in every relationship and would constantly change to make the other person happy. Every time and every relationship I lost a piece of myself.

I always made the excuse, "It's okay, you make sacrifices for the person you love." I have news for you... Sacrificing yourself and who you are for love is not the answer. Yes, you do have to compromise on things, one hundred percent, but never give up on your dreams, never give up on who you are, or what you believe in for someone else. Why? Because there are people out there who want the same things as you, who believe in the same things as you, and who love the same way you love.

My last relationship was a doozy...

I gave up so much of myself to make him happy. I was willing to not follow my dreams to follow his. I was willing to give up being a wife, a mother, a teacher, and a provider. To not have a place called "home" so we could travel and see the world. Why? Because that was his dream and I loved him so much that seeing his dreams come true mattered more to me than my own dreams.

But things did not work out. As sad, heartbroken, angry, and disappointed as I was, I realized something. I needed that relationship to show me I deserved better. Eight months later, a quarantine in effect gives you that time to self reflect. Family and friends who love you is what I needed.

This isn't some sad story about a girl who got her heart broken. This is an encouraging and uplifting post about a woman who loved a man with all she had and realized she needed to love herself more.

I've been alone and pregnant. In this time, I have self-reflected on my life and what I want. I realized... I want the house, the white picket fence, the dog, the kids in the yard playing, the loving husband, and the dream job. And yeah, it may be a fantasy and yeah, some of it might not happen, but I do know I deserve it. I realized all the parts of me that I had forgotten while I was so invested in that relationship.

And here's what I re-learned:

I love teaching. I love helping kids find their passion and helping push them past their own barriers. After the last year, it really opened my eyes and because of this, I found a happiness I had lost... Which led me to the decision of going back to finish my degree to teach.

I hate the wintertime. The only thing I like about winter is the way fresh snow looks on the trees when it first falls. After that... Hate it. If it could snow on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day for me, I would be in heaven. It's cold, wet, messy, and pain in the ass to drive in and I want no part of it. I tried to make it work and it's just not for me. The south is where I will be happy.

I want to travel, but I want to do it with people I love. It's great to travel and see the world, but I want to do that with my family. I want to experience everything new with people I can make memories with. That's more important to me than anything; memories that will last my lifetime and theirs.

I want to be a wife. I don't know what is with the current generation where we don't date, get married, or have families. But I want it. Call me old-school, but I want to grow old with the person I love. I want his last name. I want the "PIECE OF PAPER."

At the end of the day. I am enough.

My dreams are important and they will pave the way for the life I want to give my son. They will help to mold him and to have the morals I want him to have. But, mostly, this will show him that you can not be happy with someone unless you are happy with yourself. For so long I felt like something was missing and I was always striving to find that missing piece. It was me. I am that missing piece. Loving myself and who I am every day. I have a new appreciation for this love. Anyone would be lucky to be able to share this with me, but I don't need a man to be happy. My happiness lies with me loving myself. The rest will come in time...

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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