"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live." -Norman Cousins

I came across this quote while walking down a hallway in my dorm building. My friend Morgan writes a quote on the whiteboard on her door daily. I tend to make a conscious effort to pass by and read every day's quote. On February 24, this was the quote and it turned my world upside down. I read it and read it again until I finally processed it and that is when it hit me hard. I felt like I was washed out by a tsunami. The death of my loved ones has always been one of my greatest fears, but at that moment, I had the realization that what I was truly afraid of was the effect the loss would have on me.

The reality is, everybody eventually dies, however, some deaths paralyze you and others merely cause sympathy. When you lose someone close to you, especially to death, you lose a part of yourself. Unfortunately, you do not always regain what you have lost. It is actually more likely that you never find that lost piece because it only existed when your loved one was around.

The death of someone you hold dear to your heart, even a pet, really does kill something inside of you. I, like many of you, have dealt with the harsh consequences of losing someone. Until recently, I genuinely believed that it was only the loss of the people and the animals that hurt me. I now realize that it is the loss of their high spirits and the joy they brought into my life that eats away at me. With every loss, a part of me died as well, and according to Cousins, this is the true loss.

Since "the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live", we must learn to live with the loss of our loved ones in order not deal with such a great loss. The death of someone you care about will always take a toll on you, but the quality of your life after they are gone should not deteriorate. Your lost family, friends, animals, etc. live on through you. Those high spirits and that joy you once felt lives on in your heart.

Do not allow the part of you that reflects the friendship you once loved die. If you allow someone's death to kill your good spirits then you are allowing yourself to be overtaken by death, and in that sense part of you becomes dead while you are still alive. Keep your lost loved ones close through the good memories, through your good spirits, and through your love for them as well as others.