Love is a soft, gentle start. A slight push down the slide that you were afraid to go down. A match that sets mountains on fire. Love is a touch, a single touch. A touch that fills your whole body with a sensation you never even knew. Love is a look…A look into their fierce green eyes and finding it kind and warm. Love is “Mom I met someone.” Love is the first date, and the second, and the third, and the oh my goodness I think he’s the one. Love is your cheeks aching from smiling so much. Like a kid opening a bike on Christmas morning. Love is the first kiss. The tingling. The ‘I’m so happy I could die’ feeling.
Love is fireworks. Love is saying you want to take it slow, but spending the night at their place anyways. Love is Sunday morning, coffee brewing, pumpkin pancakes on the stove. Love is naptime and FaceTime and spending every ounce of time you have with each other. Love is giddy. Love is interlocking fingers and tears from laughter. Love is a gut feeling that this is it. Love is meeting the parents. Love is an awkward family dinner with too much red wine.
Love is the first fight. And the second and the third and the oh my goodness what’s wrong with them? Love is finding the flaws. And noticing them more and more and more. Love is the sinking feeling. The “what if I can do better?” Love is your friends disapproving, your parents disapproving. Love is the slamming car doors, love is the missed calls, the ignored calls the forced kisses. The nights that used to be so soft and intimate are now cold and awkward.
Love is the tears that have stained your face that your expensive makeup can’t cover up. Love is your dull smile that used to sparkle. The butterflies in your stomach die of starvation. Love is feeling like you’re walking with someone when you could be skydiving with someone else. Love is kissing someone else. Love is crumbling leaves and wet pillow cases. Love is seeing the passion disappear into thin air. Love is feeling like someone died. Love is bleakness in the air. Love is a numbness that vibrates down to your core. Love is the conversations that end with “I wanted you to fight for me.” Love is the thousands of exhales. Love is feeling like you need to scream.
Love is “do you even love me anymore?” Love is tearing your heart open and getting nothing in return. Love is “I can’t do this anymore.”
But love is fighting back. Love is giving them a second chance. Love is let’s keep trying. Love is “remember when?” Love is going back to the spot where you first kissed, going back to the beginning. With the fireworks and the slide, getting in line again, ready to be pushed into love this time. Love is I’m going to fight for you. Love is you are worth it. Love is flawed, and constantly changing. Love is never constant or steady, but it’s putting in effort and not calling it quits. You can’t get enough of love.
