I always had a love/hate relationship with high school sports. There were times when I couldn't imagine my life without it and times when I would rather be doing anything else.

I made so many friends through playing softball. It all started when one of my dads friends called my house and asked if I wanted to play softball with his daughters. I had no idea what softball even was but I said yes anyways. Looking back, I am so glad I did.

Playing softball during the summer on leagues that were completely unrelated to the school were the best softball years. I actually met one of my best friends playing softball during those years. If softball could have stayed like that I would have never given up the sport I loved most.

Once I got to high school, it became more about winning and politics than learning and playing the game I loved. My parents both worked. They couldn't just leave work at 3 every day to be at my practices to help coach. I would have never asked them to do that either because that's just unrealistic. Some parents of players on the team could do that and that was perfectly fine until their child started getting extra attention simply because their parents helped coach or score keep or whatever.

I feel like if I would have been given the same amount of attention and the same opportunity to improve, I would have. Unfortunately, I wasn't. I think that is what ruined the game for me. If I felt more confident and felt like I was being given the chance to improve, I 100% would have.

At the same time, there are a lot of things I did take away from high school sports. I have the memories of all the bus trips to and from game. I have the memories of team bonding activities where my friendships only continued to grow and I have the memories of being in shape and having a metabolism that kept up with me so well. Out of all of those, I think I miss my high metabolism the most.

Unfortunately, I also have the memories of being taken advantage of. I would always have to do the dirty work during practices or games. I was more or less there to do what the other players asked of me. The coaches would always tell me that the more I helped with the team, the higher my chances of playing for varsity. Looking back now though, how would I play well on varsity if I wasn't receiving the coaching to improve that was needed in order to succeed on a varsity team? I did everything the other players did. I went to everything. I never missed practice unless it was absolutely necessary and I always tried to have to best attitude during games and practices. I just wasn't as good as them and I didn't get the same amount of attention to improve as them.

I definitely felt like an outcast as a softball player. I wasn't built like the rest of them. At the same them though, I was playing softball for fun. I wasn't playing to make a career out of it or to even continue it after high school. Even then, that wasn't an excuse to neglect me. I could have ended up being an amazing player.

At the end of the day, I now know how high school sports work. I loved playing softball. I just didn't enjoy who I was playing for and sometimes even who I was playing with. My parents always pushed me to stick with it and eventually they realized how miserable it was making me and that's when enough was enough.

I will forever love the sport of softball. I love all the memories I'll keep through the years. Most importantly though, I love all of the lessons it taught me and I will be sure to pass them along to my children one day when they begin to play sports.