The whole concept of love seems very complicated. The definition of love will change according to each person. Who's to say what love actually is? I know that there are different kinds of love. There's friendship, family, and romantic love's. Despite popular belief, to me love isn't a feeling, it is actions. Society seems to think that love is a feeling a person gets when they're with someone. If love is a feeling then we're all doomed because feelings come and go all the time.
I think you have to choose to love someone despite the frustrating things that they can do. It took me a while to realize what love is. The way love is portrayed in books and movies seemed to be so perfect. But love isn't perfect and it's definitely not like it is in the movies. I don't think I've actually been "in love". There were times when I thought I was, but now I'm not so sure. I am only nineteen so I still have a full life ahead of me, but at this point in my life, there have been three guys that have made an impact on my life.
The first guy was my best friend, We practically grew up together. We were so similar and got along so well. I thought I would have him in my life forever. Whether it was as a friend or more, I didn't care as long as he was in my life. The reason I am unsure if I "in love" him was because we were so young, but who says that has anything to do with it? We lost contact after sophomore year of high school simply because we stopped talking. He taught me what it meant to have a real friendship with someone and how it could progress into something more. The first step to finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life is to be friends first.
The second guy taught me not to give too much of myself up. From the beginning, I knew what he wanted and I knew that it didn't line up with what I was looking for. I ignored it though because I loved the feeling of a guy paying attention to me. At that point, I was willing to do anything to keep his attention. In the end, I was left used and unwanted. I was played as a fool. He showed me how cruel boys could be and how relationships can seriously mess up a person. There was no love in that relationship despite how much I wanted there to be. It was just two people looking for something in all the wrong places.
The last guy that had a serious impact on my life taught me so much. This one is still somewhat fresh, but that just makes it a great reminder. He reminded me how sweet someone can be. He caught me off guard if I'm being honest. It all happened so fast. One minute he is asking for my number and the next thing I know we're officially dating. I don't know if both of us just wanted a relationship so bad that we didn't think too much about becoming best friends first. Throughout the duration of our relationship, I had this constant feeling that we never really talked. I think he might have felt the same way, but I don't know that for sure. Things were left at such an odd place. But that relationship taught me the importance of friendship. He was such a sweet and kind guy that seemed to want me and I didn't want to lose that. It seems so hard nowadays to find a great guy, so when I found one I didn't want to let that go. This already set us up for failure, but at the time I just didn't know it.
Relationships have such a huge impact, so be careful with who you choose. If things don't work out, then there's a reason. Take things slowly. If a relationship doesn't work out, then learn from that experience and apply that knowledge to the next one. In a similar way to the popular Ariana Grande song, one taught me friendship, one taught me not to give so much of myself up, and one taught me to be patient. Love will come someday, but I'm in no rush. If it will happen, then it will happen.
So, to those three guys, I want to thank you. Despite the hardships that came with you, I don't regret a thing because it helped shape who I am.
