There are few things in this world that are as painful as loss. That terrible stomach lurching feeling that takes your breath away and starts the aching feeling in your heart. Sometimes you sit there and wallow in your grief only to ask if anything could take your pain away. Anything. And at first, nothing does. Loss has a way of stripping you down to your raw flesh and bones and beating you with regret, memories and words. There is little to console people in time of immense grief of a loved one. This is okay. This hurt you feel so deep inside that you swear will never go away will subside. No, it will never go away completely. Any loss, big or small, stays with you forever. It may fade or get tucked in a corner of your head, but it will never leave you.

I have lost a few people in my life that have put me through a great deal of grief. This pain stays with me always. One memory and the pain all comes back. It’s crazy how our minds remind us of the ones we’ve lost and all of the memories they held in the least expected times. These remnants of our loved ones are everywhere. They pop up in songs on the radio and the sun rising early in the morning over the ocean. They visit us in our dreams and silently whisper to us in times of need. We may not see them or hear them, but they are there.

So what can we do with this feeling of loss? If it never fades completely, how do you deal with it? The reality is that although we may never lose this feeling of grief, we have to accept and embrace it. By doing this, we can work through all of these emotions.

Acceptance is the last stage of grief and to me it is the most important. This is because if we can learn to accept this feeling of loss and work this into our lives, we end up feeling better in the long run. Acceptance takes a very long time to get to. It’s not about being okay with your loss or being content with what happened. It’s your entire being accepting this occurrence with your mind, body and soul, and being able to go through your everyday life knowing that it will be okay. When you incorporate this acceptance into all three aspects of yourself that is when the healing can truly begin.

Healing is so important in this process. You can’t suppress the feelings of grief because they only do more harm to you later on. These suppressed feelings can cause so many issues physically and mentally. We go against our body’s natural process of healing when we keep our emotions bottled up. This was the hardest step for me. I would keep all of my emotions bottled up. I was always the “strong” one. I never cried and I felt like I had to be the stable one. This only backfired on me as I realized when my life was crippled with Depression, Anxiety and an inability to let down my guard for anyone.

Loss is inevitable. Death is a natural occurrence in our lives, but that doesn’t make it any less painful. By accepting loss we are doing ourselves a huge favor. We can be at peace with ourselves and the world. Accepting loss does not mean forgetting it. It means being okay with these feelings and finding an inner balance and peace within ourselves. Some days we need to cry and others make up for it with laughter. Family and friends are here for both of these days, and I don’t know how I would have gotten through without them. No amount of time can fix this pain that cradles around our hearts for years and years. Loss is loss. The pain is real but you will get through. Accept these feelings and I promise you little by little you will start to heal.