The decision to be in a long distance relationship in college is terrifying. You know that what you have with the other person is far too special to give up now, but you're also worried about a painful ending later. Like anything in life that's of value, a long distance relationship means you have to take a risk. A risk that comes with inevitable heartbreak, whether it's from missing them every day for months, or the ultimate failure of the relationship. It means putting in blood sweat and tears, even if it's all for nothing in the end.
That's really the hard part about a long distance relationship: that your heart is breaking all the time. Sure, even if you lived in the same town, you would wouldn't be together all the time. But when you're doing long distance, you will always have this feeling in the pit of your stomach that something is missing. Happiness kind of takes on a new meaning, because going weeks or months at a time without seeing the person you love hurts. Especially during college when you're making memories and wishing that they could be a part of it.
In fact, being in a long distance relationship during college has made my experience unique in a lot of ways. Everyone else returns from breaks with tales of outgrown friendships, boredom, and oppressive parents, talking about how college has become their real home. For me, "home" is two different places. School is the place where my life advances: my friends are there, my leadership positions, classes and jobs are there. But where I grew up is where the most important person in my life is. When I'm at school, I miss his birthday, he misses my homecoming dance. My life is not complete without all of its components functioning in unison, so having them spread so far apart has been a huge challenge.
This isn't all bad, though. My relationship gives me focus that my peers often lack: it's always fresh in my mind that I need to succeed at this step (college) to move on to the next step (a non-long distance relationship once I've graduated). This keeps me very focused on doing well academically. It keeps me focused on the positive, too. Every conversation I have with him has importance--the sound of his voice is something I'll never take for granted because I'll always remember the times when it's all I had. When I'm home, every time he comes back from work, I greet him like I haven't seen him in three years, because I know that in a few short days or weeks, we'll go back to nightly phone conversations fraught with countdowns and "I miss you."
Being in a long distance relationship in college has a bad reputation, but I've learned that what is put into it is what the two people get out of it. If you choose to join this club, It's up to you whether your relationship holds you back from having fun, or keeps you focused on what's important; whether it keeps you down every day, or makes the moments you get to see each other extraordinarily special.
