"You'll never work out. One of you guys will cheat, or fall out of love with each other," says about 90% of the people I tell that I only date long distance. But what is the difference between dating someone in the town you live, from someone that is hours away? I mean, it's still a relationship, right?
Relationship definition -
noun: relationship; plural noun: relationships
the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.
Doesn't matter if you two live right next door, or across the world. As long as each one of you is committed to each other and no one else.
I'm 20 years old, and roughly 33% of people in a relationship are in long distance relationships at my age. Mostly because I'm in the age group for college students or young adults, and many couples don't attend the same college, or live in the same town when they go back home. Averagely long distance couples see each other once a month, and talk on the phone once every two to three days, which isn't too unrealistic. Only 40% of long distance relationships break up, and around 75% of engagements say that have been in a long distance at some point in their relationship. So almost every single couple out there has had to do a long distance relationship sometime in them being together.
Personally, all I date is long distance. Why do I do this you may ask?
I can learn about myself as an individual.
I feel as if dating someone that lives close to me means I can't learn about myself. Things I may dislike or like about myself, and I'm able to change them without someone right next to me.
I can learn to love myself.
I'm not perfect, I make mistakes. When I mess up, I know it's okay, because I don't have someone holding me and telling me it's okay. I have to learn to love myself every day I'm by myself.
I can learn about my surroundings, such as the earth, or the people I come into contact with.
I'm able to explore the world by myself, going on trips without anyone. Sometimes you need alone time, and time to explore. You don't need someone to go with you, all you need is clothes, some gas, and a little extra cash.
I can learn to appreciate what that man does for me.
Since I don't get to see my boyfriend every day, or even talk to him, I enjoy the little things so much more. I appreciate the efforts he makes to make me happy, and the efforts he makes to make sure I know he cares.
I learn that distance makes the heart grow fonder.
If you see someone every day, you forget about how valuable your time together truly is. When you go weeks without seeing each other, it makes the moments you have together some much more special and memorable.
I learn that if you truly love someone, you will let them grow and learn also.
It's not just about me learning to explore the world, your other needs to also. If you both can go learn and grow separately and still be together, there shouldn't be anything that separates you.
I know I'm only 20, and these are the best years of my life.
These next few years of my life are the years for me to party the night away, stress out over final exams, visit friends at other colleges, do internships across the country, and so much more. If you are already in a long distance relationship, it won't make a difference if you go across the country for an internship for a semester. It makes traveling and life less stressful.
I know that I'm an independent person, and I won't become dependent on someone.
I don't become used to someone always buying me lunch after class or driving me to work. I don't become so dependent on someone that if they do leave I would be completely lost. While you are working and living your life, I am doing the same. With or without a man, I will get my hair done, buy Subway for lunch, get myself to and from work.
I know that I'm a workaholic.
If I want to work 40 hours a week at work, I can do it. I don't have to make time to see my boyfriend every day. Most long distance couples see each other once a month, so I can work 40 hours a week for three weeks, and then one week I will take a weekend off and go visit. It's not hard: work to make a bunch of money, and then take a few days off for each other so you can have a few amazing days together.
I know I like to sleep alone.
As much as I love cuddling, and having a warm body next to me, I need my own sleeping time. Right now my body is wanting around 8/12 hours a sleep. When I sleep with someone else it takes me forever to get comfortable
I know I like to do things on my own.
I want to eat lunch by myself, and go out with my girl friends. I don't want to do everything with you. I know that sounds harsh, but I want the both of us to have fun without being attached at the hip.
I know I don't like to do relationship type things every day.
I don't want to sound hateful, but I don't want to see you every day, I don't want to kiss you every day, I don't want to cuddle every day. I don't want those things because then they become a routine, and I forget how important they truly are.
I know that when I'm in a relationship, it's only you and me.
I may go out with my friends, or go to the movies by myself. But I can promise you that when I'm with someone it is me and him, and that's it. No one else is welcomed.
A lot of people may disagree with the things I say, but this is how I feel. This is what works for me. None of my past relationships have worked, but that's because my ex didn't see everything the same way I see it. It's okay, because I now know I wasn't meant for them. Just remember, you have to find someone that sees things the way you see them. I'm over the bullshit, and am ready for something that will become serious. I will not rush it, just let everything fall into place like it should be.
But remember, long distance relationships and "normal" relationships are both relationships.