The day was much like any other. I was sitting in class my senior year of high school zoning out and not paying attention to the lecture. Suddenly a thought popped into my mind- did I unplug the toaster? This intrusive thought began to pick up speed. Soon I was breathing heavily, unable to see anything, and convinced that my house was on fire. The bell rang to switch classes and I in a daze went to the bathroom pulled out my phone and began to read through news articles looking for house fires.

Now to many people this would have been an incredibly irrational, ridiculous notion that was disregarded- never to be thought of again. For me however, it was a very real and very imminant threat that plagued my mind the rest of the day and was not assuaged until I arrived home my house fully intact. I really did not think much about it because I had always had these types of thoughts. Every time my parents went out I imagined them dying in a horrible car crash. Every time there was a storm I was convinced I was going to be hit by lightning. Every time there was a plane flying over head it was about to drop a bomb. Every little thing in my life was posing a threat to me and my loved ones well being.

As a child this was always chalked up to a vivid imagination or childish fears. As I grew older I began to keep these thoughts to myself. I didn't want to seem like I was crazy, but I began to realize that I was really the only person who had these thoughts. One day I expressed these thoughts to a friend of mine thinking and assuming she would agree and be like 'oh haha I have those thought too' instead she said 'that's not normal'. I was embarrassed and kind of hurt. I am not normal? Why not? Doesn't everyone has these thoughts? Apparently not.

A few months after the fire incident my mom had my younger brother evaluated for ADHD. He was positively diagnosed and put on medication. This is when I began to really be introduced into the mental health field. I began to look at different types of disorders and self-diagnosed myself with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I didn't have many of the symptoms except for one- an obsessive fixation with bad things happening. I convinced myself that this is what was wrong but I wanted to be diagnosed by a professional. I asked my mom to take me to a psychologist convinced I would be diagnosed with OCD. After a couple of sessions and some tests I was diagnosed not with OCD but with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder is a mental disorder in which basically anything and everything causes you to have anxiety. I could be lying in bed one minute perfectly fine and suddenly a wave of anxiety would roll over me for no obvious reason; this is very characteristic of anxiety disorder.

After I was diagnosed I was put on medication to help with this. I was also asked to come back for weekly sessions to help control my thoughts when they began to run wild. From these weekly sessions I was further diagnosed with Clinical Depression and ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder).

I have been on medication for Anxiety and Depression for three years now and I honestly have no idea how I managed. I have been able to get my anxiety attacks under control and I am feeling happier than ever. I of course do have the occasional days where I am really sad and don't want to get out of bed and the days where I will suddenly feel anxious for no reason at all, but I have been able to keep it under wraps.

I still have a long way to go and I eventually want to be able to function normally without medication, but as of right now I am happy with where I am.