Live With a "Me First" Mentality

Live With a "Me First" Mentality

Healthy happiness starts with putting yourself first
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Let me start this topic with the following question: When was the last time you took a plane ride?

I have flown on so many planes that I have just about memorized the safety demonstration the flight attendants perform before the plane catapults us all into the air. I like the safety demonstrations. It's important to know what to do in the event of a crash, although they sometimes term it in less scary terms, like a "water landing."

The main reason I like the presentation is that I enjoy planning ways to get out of life-threatening situations. Therefore, hearing the safety talk gives me comfort. I at least have a plan of action if my plane starts having issues.

Like I've said, I have heard these demonstrations a lot, but every time the flight attendants talk about what to do if the oxygen masks come down, I pay attention. They always advise to "Apply the oxygen mask to yourself, and then to the person or child next to you."

They assume that everyone on the plane knows the basic truth that if you are not breathing in oxygen from said mask in an oxygen-depleted plane that is crashing, you cannot help anyone else because you will be unconscious (and probably on the way to being dead because you need oxygen to live).

I think we can apply this logic to our lives outside of the airplane terminal.

The plane is your life, the airplane seat is where you are right now (your job, relationship status, etc.), and you are buckled in for a ride to your destination, which is your goal. You have put a lot of effort in accomplishing said goal, but the journey is not over yet... a lot can still go wrong. Sometimes, our lives are wrecked because of outside sources.

If your life, your "plane ride," starts experiencing issues and the "oxygen masks" come down because a life crisis is happening, you need to grab that oxygen mask for yourself. The crisis could be anything –– a failed exam, death of someone you know, financial burdens piling up, or something else.

Your lifeline, your oxygen mask, could be the friends and family supporting you, the passions that make life meaningful when everything else is bleak, or a beloved pet that knows exactly how to comfort you. Grab that oxygen mask and hold on tight, because you need help to get through this.

Choosing to help yourself when you need it does not mean you are weak –– it means you are strong enough to acknowledge you matter and taking care of yourself matters first. How will you take care of the things you need to do, or the people who need your help, if you are crashing?

Having a "Me First" mentality is beneficial for so many reasons, but let me highlight just a couple.

Think of all the million little connections you have with people during the day, from the grocery store line to the people you live with.

Think of all the ways you could improve your connections with others if you just took 45 minutes each day (yes, each day) for yourself to doodle, listen to that bumpin' music you love, or take an emergency nap. If you're depleted from goodness (oxygen), then you might not be thinking straight and end up saying some mean words to a loved one. Words can either wreck or improve someone's day. Stay connected to goodness to spread it to others.

Identify why your "airplane" is having issues. Is it that pesky ex who keeps messaging you? Say goodbye. Is it the landlady who never sprays your apartment for bugs, even though the bugs have been bugging you for a month now? Take action. Is it that soul-sucking fear that you will never achieve your dream? Make a plan to make your dream a reality (look at this article I wrote to help you with planning https://www.theodysseyonline.com/those-resolutions-though).

The most important thing to do is to listen to your body's responses to life situations. By tuning out the distracting noises in your brain, you will start realizing what is good for you and what needs to be ditched. The following article gives some solid advice on how to do this essential part of the "Me First" mentality: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/i-choose-me-and-why-you-should-choose-yourself/

The "Me First" Mentality is healthy for us. If we take care of ourselves first more often, I predict we will be more joyous, buoyant, and open-minded people. If we all choose "Me First," then maybe we would have more meaningful interactions with others. I would like to live in a world when the norm is happiness instead of people getting burnt out because they never take time for themselves to recharge (or avoid depletion in the first place).

Overall, I am not asking "How long can you survive without your 'oxygen'?"

I am asking you to consider how long can you thrive with it.

Cover Image Credit: Marc Olivier Jodoin

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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An Open Letter To Myself: I Don't Really Like You

If I would meet myself at a party, I wouldn't stay for conversation.

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This is a letter to myself. So I'll start it like this: I don't like you.

It's got nothing to do with what you look like. It has to do with how you act, how you speak, how you present your emotions. You can be a real drama queen, and not always a lovable one. It's funny. You tend to overreact about the smallest things, but you sit back and let big things slide.

It's like you think you deserve to let big things take a back seat while you dwell on tiny issues that give you something to complain about. You try not to be negative, especially when it comes to the people you care about, but you can be so negative about yourself. Stop doing that.

You never invest in your own happiness. You second-guess yourself and wonder why good things pass you by, but it's you. You let things pass you by, you let opportunities pass because you're lazy. My goodness, you can really be lazy. Not just physically, but mentally. You always say "I'll do it soon" and then you never do.

If I met you at a party, I would find a way to get out of talking to you. You can be way too loud at times, and then too quiet at others. So I don't know how to read you. You are unreadable. You have so many things on your surface that do not make sense, but when you go deeper, it's another mystery.

At least try to meet your mind and soul halfway. Try to look for yourself, try to find yourself because I'm sure there's more to you, but you'll never know if you don't try.

Sincerely,

Yourself

P.S. I'm sorry for being hard on you, but it's only because I think you really need to reconsider who you are. Reconsider your own importance and worth. You'll be surprised to find out how much you can find out about yourself.

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