Life Is Unfair- And That's Okay

Life Is Unfair- And That's Okay

I realized that unfairness is okay by accepting my trials.
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All my 18 years of wisdom and thorough experience has led me to believe this: life is like super hard.

This first hit me when I got my period at 11 years old. I didn’t really get it. Before I received the infamous curse of womanhood I thought my period would make me feel feminine and womanly and proud. The rude awakening that I actually had to still participate in normal day-to-day activities while menstruating really hurt my feelings. I think I expected some kind of ceremonious time where I would be able to lay in my bed and watch movies while someone placed a straw into my frowning mouth, letting me sip Dr. Pepper and eat an entire bag of Hershey’s kisses in peace. I still had to go to church the day when I discovered my ‘present’, and that was also the day that I was informed that women were the ONLY sex that were put through this monthly torture. I spent the day glaring at my male peers (but only in my head of course, I was still expected to smile and wave as my gut WAS LITERALLY EXPLODING INTO A FIREY INFERNO OF ANGUISH). My period was a slap in the face. A knife to my ovaries. A lesson in how the world works. The unfairness of humanity and existence.


At 11, I was forced to come to the conclusion (with the help of “The Body Book for Girls”) that life was really hard. That made me so angry! I insisted that everything in life be equal; my blood boiled when something was unfair. I wanted my life to be exactly as I believed it should be. I was like that for a while, until recently, when I was eventually able to accept that life wasn't fair.

When my senior year was pretty crap because of my recently diagnosed illnesses, I was angry for a long time-angry at my body for not working like everyone else's and angry at the world for not going through what I was going through. I remember the moment that it kind of dawned on me that bad things happen sometimes, and it's okay. It was a weird 'one-with-the-world' kind of experience that just made me feel some type of peace about my situation.

So, my all knowing 18 year old self decided some things that I believe about life.

I believe that life is hard. I believe that things happen for a reason, and that reason might be because life is hard. I believe that horrible things happen to people who don’t deserve horrible things. I believe that trials are supposed to happen to everyone. I believe that those trails may not be equally as hard for everyone.

Unfortunately, sometimes life is really hard for some people all the time. Some people’s lives are way harder than others. Although it is not super helpful to compare your problems to others, it did help me to realize that I didn’t have it that bad.


Something that really helped me accept my trials was remembering that God was on my side. I know that my Heavenly Father will NEVER leave me.

Like, ever.

Even though my periods still suck.

Cover Image Credit: Ravinder kolukunde

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I Woke up In The Middle Of The Night To Write About My Fears, They're Worse Than The Dark

One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

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It is one of those nights when I am tired, but for some reason, I can't seem to fall asleep. So, what do I do? I pull out my laptop, and I begin to write. Who knows where it will lead. It could lead to a killer article or something that does not make sense. I mean it is almost 2 A.M. In my mind, that's pretty late.

Anyways, let's do this thing.

Like many people, thoughts seem to pile up in my head at this time. It could be anything from a time when I was younger to embarrassing stories to wondering why I am "wasting" my time somewhere to thoughts about the future. All of these things come at me like a wildfire. One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

The thought that is going through my mind as I write this is about the future. It's about the future of my fears. Let me explain. I have multiple fears. Some of my fears I can hide pretty well, others I am terrible at hiding. My fears may seem silly to some. While others might have the same fears. Shall we start?

1. My career

I don't know where to begin with this one. For as long as I can remember, my consistent dream job has been working in the world of sports, specifically hockey. A career in sports can be and is a challenging thing. The public eye is on you constantly. A poor trade choice? Fans are angry. Your team sucks? "Fans" are threatening to cheer for someone else if you can't get your sh*t together. You can be blamed for anything and everything. Whether you are the coach, general manager, owner, it does not matter. That's terrifying to me, but for some reason, I want to work for a team.

2. My family

Julie Fox

Failing with my family, whether that be the family I was born into or my future family, it terrifies me. I have watched families around me fall apart and I have seen how it has affected them. Relationships have fallen apart because of it. I have heard people talk about how much they hate one of their parents because of what happened. I don't want that.

3. Time

This could be a dumb fear. I'm not sure, but I fear time. With every minute that passes, I am just another minute closer to the end. With every day that passes that I am not accomplishing goals or dreams I have, I am losing precious time. It scares me to think of something horrible like "What if I die tomorrow because of something horrific?" or even worse, "What if I don't make it through today?" It's terrible, I know.

4. Forgetting precious memories

When I was younger, I had brain surgery. It is now much harder for me to remember things. I am truly terrified that I am going to forget things I will want to hold close to me forever, but I won't be able to. I am scared I'll forget about the little things that mean a lot. I'm afraid of forgetting about old memories that may disappear. I'm worried that I'll forget about something like my wedding day. That might seem out of this world, but it's a reality for me.

5. Saying "goodbye"

I hate saying bye. It is one of my least favorite things. Saying bye, especially to people I don't know when I'll see again, is a stab in the heart for me. I love my people so much. I love being around them. I love laughing with them. Thought of never having a hello with them again scares me beyond belief.

6. Leaving places that I love

Alright, let me start off by saying this- it takes a lot for me to love a place. It has to feel like home. It has to make me feel comfortable. It has to be a place I can go to and be myself. Thankfully, I have had and still have multiple places that are like that. I have also had places I could not wait to leave. I think that's why leaving places I love is so hard and something I fear so much. I am afraid I'll never get that place "back", for lack of a better term. I guess, I'm trying to say, it's like a piece of me is leaving as well.




These six things are just the start of my fears. Some of these might seem "dumb" or "ridiculous" to you, but for me, it's my life. These are the things that I think about the most. These are the things that feel like a pit in my stomach. These six things are parts of my life that mean a lot to me.

Cover Image Credit:

Emily Heinrichs

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The Peaceful melody of Alone-time

Talking to yourself isn't crazy, in fact it makes you more sane.

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Spending time with a significant other brings joy, fun memories, and a feeling of love. Time with family brings a sense of comfort and grounding. Friends bring delight, laughter and good times. Time spent alone, it has no definition or specific feeling; a whole new level of intimacy and self-discovery.

Take a walk by yourself in a new place, foreign to you and silence your phone. Here, you place a dependency on your shoulders and a miniature escape from everything you think you know or feel comfortable with. Your mind will thrive in these peaceful lonesome moments. You'll begin to observe and assess, rather than speak and discuss others ideas. The foreign place gives you a fresh perspective on your thought process and how you take the scenes in helping unfold bits of your identity, untainted with others inputs.

Discussing ideas with others isn't wrong, on the contrary, it grows our minds and expands our knowledge. The purpose of the alone time is not to nourish that side of us, but rather to uncover our own truths and thought process. Our minds change and develop and create new perspectives, it's important to always keep up with it and to keep an honest relationship with the self.

The honesty can scare us, that's a gamble. Selecting yourself away from the noise grants us time for reflection and discussion within our minds. You'll begin to ask yourself things you didn't think mattered too much or things you've never specifically thought about. When the internal discussion grows, your mind will begin to think of the important things to you and assess how they fit in and what things no longer fit in. This time is essential to categorize your priorities and your worries and their solutions.

Besides the reflection, take the alone time to figure out what things truly entertain you. Enjoy a guilty pleasure film with your comfort beverage. Create positive moments for yourself purely based on your own likes with zero compromises for others. These simple moments are little keys that unlock further understanding on who we are as special individuals.

Please realize everyone needs alone time every once in a while. Not only should you grant this time to the people you love, but it should be an encouraged ritual. Let every person align their brain and take the time to test their worries and concerns.

This alone time is neither selfish or bizarre. In the novel Mrs. Dalloway, the main character always finds her ideas being disrupted by her surrounding environment. These distractions are everywhere the more we progress in the technological age. Now more than ever, people need time away from screens, people, vehicles and more time in nature where we find ourselves distracted by the natural Earth. Don't photograph how peaceful your alone time is, but simply live it and live in those moments you have allotted yourself to escape from all the things that cloud the mind.

Cover Image Credit:

https://pixabay.com/en/people-woman-travel-adventure-trek-2591874/

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