Death is a scary thing to most people. Humans have always been on this quest to find cures and remedies to make life last longer. People take vitamins and pills and eat certain foods in hopes of gaining a few extra years. When you are told that you weren’t supposed to live past two years old though, you tend to look at life a little differently.

Every day that I am alive is a miracle. It’s a gift that I try not to waste. I was told I wasn’t supposed to live past two, then it was four, then I heard 12, but at 26 I have stopped listening. I am a relatively healthy person. Sure, I could eat better and I could drink more water; I could do physical therapy and take vitamins. But guess what… I’m happy! And shouldn’t that be the point of life?

I try to live in the moment (as much as I can on a limited budget and with limited means of transportation). The last six years has been an incredible journey. I hit rock bottom and slowly dragged myself out. I said goodbye to the negativity that surrounded me, and it was the hardest thing I have ever done, but here I am.

I always hear people talking about getting rid of things in their lives, whether it’s carbs or a bad relationship. While those things are important in their own ways, what I have found to be the most helpful, is getting rid of my own negative thoughts. My own thoughts were the most toxic thing around to my health. I still have bad days of course, but I have really worked on being positive. I worked on it so much, that it is just naturally in me now.

So, get rid of those negative thoughts, say goodbye to people who are not a positive influence, and eat healthier if you want. Just do what makes you happy. If you’re unsure of what that is, go out and explore until you find it. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Life is short, don’t waste it.

I recently attended a Blue October concert with my mother. The singer, Justin Furstenfeld, said something that really stuck out to me. He said, “life is beautiful and simple if you let it be.” He talked about his own struggles, then preceded to sing their song “Fear,” which actually made me cry a bit.

I had heard the song before, it’s one of my mom’s favorite bands after all. However, I had never really listened to the lyrics before. It had been a while since a song made me cry. The entire song is about how fear can destroy you, and it’s about defeating that fear. For so long I let fear run my life; fear that I wasn’t good enough, fear that I wasn’t smart enough, fear that I would feel alone my entire life. I am glad to say that that is no longer the case.

“Today,
I don't have to fall apart,
I don't have to be afraid.
I don't have to let the damage
consume me,
My shadow see through me.

‘Cause
Fear in itself
Will reel you in and spit you out
Over and over again.
Believe in yourself
And you will walk.

Fear in itself
Will use you up and break you down
like you were never enough.
I used to fall, now I get back up.”