Staying Best Friends After High School Into College

For The Best Friend Who Beat The Odds And Stayed By Your Side Through College

I have been best friends with the same wild-spirited ginger for 10 years now and living three hours away from her hasn't made a dent in our friendship.

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My best friend, Julia, and I have stuck out 10 years of friendship with each other. We met in the first grade... I think, then became BFF's somewhere around the third grade where Julia basically bullied me (No, Julia, I'm not going to let you live that down.) So, it is safe to say we have been partners in crime for some time now. We have been there for nearly everything happening in each other's lives, from the horror story of puberty to first boyfriends (still her boyfriend in her case) to school dances to family events to braces to questionable haircuts.

Please see the horrendous childhood bangs pictured below.

Gabby Sheets

Julia is my rock, to say the least. All throughout middle school and then high school, she was my person. I told her everything. I relied on her to make me feel better, even if it was by doing something as stupid as watching "The Last Song" and crying with me or letting me rant to her on an hour and a half phone call.

We got into petty fights, but we got over them.

She started dating a 6-foot idiot who became a close friend of mine as soon as I realized he wasn't going anywhere.

We moved on from being a guest in each other's homes and onto being part of the family.

We got our senior pictures done together as well as jobs in the same workplace.

We planned our make-believe weddings and insisted we would be each other's maids of honor.

We have grown together, through the thick and the thin, through the good days and the bad.

But here came graduation.

James Sheets

Whether it be in one of our classes senior year or at one of our graduation parties or at our shared workplace, people warned us about how we would grow apart. As soon as they heard I was attending Bowling Green State University and she was heading south to Ohio University, they insisted that our friendship would change for the worse. We were going to be three hours apart from each other. There was apparently no way we would stay best friends, according to a countless number of people.

Wrong.

Yes, our friendship has changed, but we are still best friends. We spent our birthdays together, like always. We complain about boys, like always. We are still welcome in each other's homes as if we belong there. I'm pretty sure Julia is convinced that my parents are hers actually. Whenever I have anything happen in my life, Julia is the first person I want to tell. It was an adjustment, not having her right next to me in person, but I know I just pick up my phone and call her.

Then, when she doesn't answer right away, I immediately call her boyfriend and ask where she is. If I'm coming home, I ask what she is doing instantly. When we see each other, after a long time apart, it is exactly the way it has always been. We are just as comfortable, just as close, as what we have always been.

I can't imagine living my life without having her by my side to share it with, even if she isn't physically by my side through our college years. So, to those who are going to college, listen to this:

You don't have to say goodbye to your best friend.

Sure, friends come and go, but every once in a while you find one that is here to stay. In my case, I found a spunky redhead in the 3rd grade that has been latched on to me ever since, and I latched onto her. Go to the college that you want to go to. Stay in touch with those that you care about most. You can make a long-distance friendship work, trust me. You just have to realize that distance means so little in comparison to friendships meant to last a lifetime (So cheesy, I know).

A few measly hours has got nothing on 10 years of friendship and the many more to come. I love you, Julia!

Paige Probasco

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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Finding Your Niche In College Starts With Finding You

Attempting to be someone you are not for the sake of having company only hurts you in the long run.

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Transitioning to college is hard enough, but trying to find a place where you feel "at home" can make this time even more stressful. Here are some tips on how to find that place/group of people that make you feel like sunshine.

I have always felt a little out of place wherever I went, but it wasn't until college that I realized that this feeling was so special and more people should capitalize on their differences rather than conforming to a certain mold. Transitioning to college and finding your place among so many people can be very overwhelming. The added stress of attempting to be someone you aren't for the sake of having company adds a whole other layer to this problem. The easiest thing for me to do in any situation like this is trying to make the setting a little smaller. One of the most obvious ways to do this on a college campus is by getting involved!

It is inevitable that within the first few weeks of the semester at any college, there will be an organization fair. This is a chance to scope out all that your school has to offer! Chances are there will be some type of group or club that lines up with your interests. Most college campuses have extracurricular opportunities ranging from social sororities and fraternities, professional ones, intermural sports, vocal groups, and so many more. You are more than likely going to find some type of organization that you can call home if you seek them out. Joining an organization is such an easy way to interact with people with similar interests. An interest can bring two completely different people together and create some beautiful friendships. It is situations like this where it is important to be your authentic self and mingle with those you share something with.

That being said, finding your place in college isn't always about being involved. Getting involved on campus is just one of the simplest ways to start. There are so many other opportunities on campus to meet people whether it be among others in your residence hall, people in your classes, or just people you find yourself stumbling upon! Finding people to spend your time with is easy; however, you should make it a point to surround yourself with people who bring you up.

Once you have a set group of people that you find yourself spending time with, it is important to pay attention to the way you feel when you're around them. If you find yourself feeling bad about yourself or get the impression that you need to change something in order to "fit in," chances are the people you're around are not the best for you or your self-esteem. It is important to surround yourself with people who allow you to feel comfortable in your own skin. That being said, you also want people who encourage you to make good decisions and help you reach your goals. People who encourage toxic behavior in your life might be fun in the short term, but in the grand scheme of things, you need to be surrounded by people with your best interest in mind. Essentially, surrounding yourself with people who influence you to be your best self is one of the best decisions you can make short and long term.

The key to all of this is being conscious of your own feelings and needs. Pay attention to who reaches out to you to hang out. Notice the ones who pay attention to you as you speak when it feels like no one is listening. More than anything, be conscious of who you're with and where you're at when you experience moments of pure happiness. Life is too short to waste your precious time on people who don't build you up. Wouldn't you rather spend your time with more moments of pure joy than self-hate? Start living for you!

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