Dear College Best Friend For Life

Dear College Best Friend For Life

To my mental breakdown buddy, my inspiration, and my future maid of honor.

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Dear My College Best Friend For Life,

If anyone has ever seen us walk down the street, we're probably either laughing, crying, or showing each other a meme on one of our phones. We're obnoxious, emotional, and definitely crazier than your average pair of best friends. However, I wouldn't change it for the world.

I am so incredibly lucky to have already found my person at college, especially when I was so nervous that nobody else would understand my ridiculous jokes and Chipotle addiction. In the span of four months, you have become my rock, the person I run to for everything. And simply put, there's just no one who could ever take your spot.

Although we fight like a married couple, I know you care about my wellbeing and are looking out for me.

When you yell at me to not text my ex at 1 a.m, I know you're trying to save me from a disaster. Even when I make a mistake and seem like I hate you, I don't. I just hate you because how in the world can you always be right? Although you might also make mistakes as well, I'll always call you out on it and make sure that we're being healthy in every way possible. Everyone knows that your honest friend is the one who cares the most, and you are brutally honest.

There are so many inside jokes and laughs we've shared that I'll cherish forever.

Nothing's better than getting a text from you at 2 p.m. to tell me you can't stop thinking about the Bee Movie script. You are incredibly funny and we just so happen to have the same sense of humor where we just laugh at every single thing that happens to us. Our lives are the biggest jokes ever, and there's no one else I could imagine laughing about it with. Even when it seems like my life is falling apart, you're always there to make some inappropriate joke to add to our quote list.

You are my inspiration in many different forms.

When I tell you that your dedication to school, your love for people you care about and your fashion style inspire me to want to be a better person, I mean it. There's no one else who would be down to go to Bird Library with me and study until the sun rises. You motivate me all the time and remind me that even when there are hardships, there will be good things coming soon after.

You have always been there for me.

You made going through the rough patches easier. There's nothing like a deep talk at 2 a.m that makes me feel less alone. You have heard my cry, seen me break down, and accepted me for who I am regardless. Listening to me speak about my heartbreaks must've been a bore, but you always kept your ears open and gave me the honest advice.

With all the hardships you've been put through, you should be in a mental ward right now. But, somehow, you manage to get through it and come out the other end smiling.

With your ex-boyfriend living a floor below you, you have somehow managed to deal with it better than I ever could. Despite all the ups and downs you've also had with schoolwork, you stay on track and focused on your goal, and once you're dedicated, you don't quit until it's yours. Although we both have about one mental breakdown a week, you always wipe the tears right after and push through it.

There are so many adventures to go on and I can't wait to share that with you.

These next four years are going to be crazy, and knowing that I have you to conquer all of this with makes me anticipate it more. Here's to more Chipotle runs, more Bird Library nights, and more espresso shots that might make us go into a-fib.

Life would not be the same without you. Thanks for being my emotional tether these past few months. One day, I'll be standing at your wedding, talking about all the crazy things we did in college, and I hope your future husband doesn't divorce you right then and there. Let's get this bread.

Love always,

Your Absolutely Insane Best Friend

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I Ghosted My Old Self For 5 Months In An Effort To Reevaluate My Life

My life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

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BREAKING (not fake) NEWS: It's true, you have to hit your lowest before hitting your highest.

I want to share my lowest with you, and I'm almost ashamed to say it had nothing to do with the loss of both of my parents. I like to think I handled that like a warrior.

Turns out I didn't, and the hurt I've been burying from that hit me all at once, the same moment my life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

My life flipped upside down overnight back in August. I had my heart broken shattered, lost two very important friendships that I thought were with me until the end, lost my 9-5 job, my health took a hit stronger than a boulder, and I was absolutely lost. For the first time, ever, I let go of the reigns on my own life. I had no idea how to handle myself, how to make anyone around me happy, how to get out of bed or how to even begin the process of trying to process what the f*ck just happened. I was terrified.

Coming from the girl who never encountered a dilemma she couldn't fix instantaneously, on her own, with no emotional burden. I was checked out from making my life better. So I didn't try. I didn't even think about thinking about trying.

The only relatively understandable way I could think to deal with anything was to not deal with anything. And that's exactly what I did. And it was f*cking amazing.

I went into hiding for a week, then went on a week getaway with my family, regained that feeling of being loved unconditionally, and realized that's all I need. They are all I need. Friends? Nah. Family. Only. Always.

On that vacation, I got a call from the school district that they wanted me in for an interview the day I come home. It was for a position that entailed every single class, combined, that I took in my college career. It was a career that I had just gotten my degree for three months before.

I came home and saw my doctor and got a health plan in order. I was immediately thrown into the month-long hiring process for work. I made it a point to make sunset every single night, alone, to make sure I was mentally caught up and in-check at the same exact speed that my life was turning. I was not about to lose my control again. Not ever.

Since August, I have spent more time with family than ever. I've read over 10 new books, I've discovered so much new music, I went on some of my best, the worst and funniest first dates, I made true, loyal friends that cause me zero stress while completely drowning me in overwhelming amounts of love and support, I got back into yoga, and I started that job and damn near fell more in love with it than I ever was for the guy I lost over the summer.

But most importantly, I changed my mindset. I promised myself to not say a single sentence that has a negative tone to it. I promised myself to think three times before engaging in any type of personal conversation. I promised myself to wake up in a good mood every damn day because I'm alive and that is the only factor I should need to be happy.

Take it from a girl who knew her words were weapons and used them frequently before deciding to turn every aspect of her life into positivity — even in the midst of losing one of my closest family members. I have been told multiple times, by people so dear to me that I'm "glowing." You know what I said back? F*ck yes I am, and I deserve to.

I am so happy with myself and it has nothing to do with the things around me. It's so much deeper than that, and I'm beaming with pride. Of myself. For myself.

I want to leave you with these thoughts that those people who have hurt me, left me, and loved me through these last couple of months have taught me

Growth is sometimes a lonely process.
Some things go too deep to ever be forgotten.
You need to give yourself the permission to be happy right now.
You outgrow people you thought you couldn't live without, and you're not the one to blame for that. You're growing.
Sometimes it takes your break down to reach your breakthrough.

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

My god, it's so f*cking good.

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Just Because Your Home Friends Are Far Away Doesn’t Mean You Can Ghost Them

Show them that you are thinking of them.

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If you're anything like me, your home friends are some of the greatest friends you have ever had. They are the people who stuck with you, even after most of your friends from high school kicked you to the curb once they found new friends in college. So, when you go back to school, or if you are already back for second semester, make sure that you don't shut them out of your life. Here are some ways to make sure that you don't ghost your home friends.

1. Check up on them.

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No matter how far they are, it's important that you stay in contact with them. Friends who have stuck with you for this long are lifelong friends. Obviously, you don't have to speak with them every day of the week, but make sure that you check in on them every once in a while. If they value your friendship just as much, they'll do the same.

2. Write them letters.

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This may seem a bit old fashioned, but writing letters is always a way to keep in touch while tapping into your creative side. Many of my friends from home have written me letters throughout our friendship, whether it was for a special event or just because they felt like it. Either way, it made me feel extremely thankful to have them in my life and it ensured me that I was still a prominent part of my friends' lives.

3. Set up a date to hang out and catch up with them.

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If they go to school in the state, setting up a time where you can spend the weekend together is a great idea. This way they can see what your life is like at your school or vice versa. Having this time with them is also a great way to catch up with each other face to face, rather than over text message. It'll be a nice mental getaway from the thought of school work, too!

4. Plan ahead if break is around the corner.

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Spring break is usually around a week long, if not shorter. So, if you want to see your friends from home in the span of a week, make sure you plan at least a week in advance so that everyone can clear time in their schedule. Don't wait till last minute or you may have to wait until the end of the semester to see them.

5. FaceTime or call them.

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Sometimes texting your friends that you haven't seen in a while just doesn't cut it. Hearing their voice or seeing their face heals the ache that forms in your chest from missing them. Make sure you are FaceTiming each other at a time where you both are free. You don't want a facetime or phone call to feel rushed, especially if you haven't seen your friend in a while.

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