5 Lies You Tell Yourself When You're Lonely In College
Start writing a post
Student Life

5 Lies You Tell Yourself When You're Lonely In College

You're never alone in a sea of people.

1086
5 Lies You Tell Yourself When You're Lonely In College
Abby Blackwell

It has been exactly 65 days since I've moved into college. And amongst those 65 days, I can say that I have felt lonely 85 percent of that time. I had heard the phrase "You can be in a sea of people and still feel so lonely" a thousand times, but it wasn't until college that I actually understood that phrase. I study at a public college with a little over 30,000 people in attendance. You'd think that I could find one friend in the midst of all of those people right? Wrong. I found myself reverting back to hanging out with friends from back home, which isn't bad, but I wanted to meet new people as well. But this situation that I got myself into was entirely my fault. I was eating meals by myself, staying only in my dorm, and declining invitations to do anything by saying I had "studying" to do. I fell into the lies about my loneliness, so I'm going to warn you about these if you also find yourself discouraged.

1. No One Has The Time To Hang Out

No one has time to get to know new people. I have fed myself this line over and over again. I kept telling myself that no one had the time because everyone had to study or go to class. This is one of the biggest lies. Everyone has time at some point. Whether they have to go eat or run errands, everyone has the time. Invite someone to lunch, offer to drive someone to the grocery store, or even drive someone to the airport if they're needing to get home. By offering your help and giving up your own time you are opening up a door.


2. I Have Too Much Studying To Do

This one is a lot like the last one except you're making your own "studying" an excuse. I know how it goes. You sit down to study on your computer and then five minutes later you end up watching Netflix. If you really are going to study then that's fine, but the minute you take your five-minute break that turns into two hours you have no one to blame but yourself for skipping that dinner with a friend.


3. I'm Too Weird; People Don't Want To Know Me

I'm one of the most mature/immature people you will meet depending on the day. To give you an example, I can have deep talks with someone and then turn around that same day and play Webkinz (no shame). I freaked myself out by convincing myself that no one would like the real me so why try and make friends just to get rejected. As my mom always says "You will find your tribe." This phrase used to annoy me when she said it, but it's so true. There will always be people like you. Not everyone is going to think you are weird.


4. I'll Just Wait For Someone To Talk To Me

No, No, No. Go out of your way. If you want to find your tribe you're going to need to go outside your comfort zone and talk to people. I'm an introvert when I don't know people so I know how scary talking to someone you don't know can be. But how can you expect to make great friends if you aren't willing to talk to people and get to know them? Chances are they're just waiting for someone to talk to them too.


5. I'll Just Find A Friend Tomorrow

Why wait? What will change tomorrow? You'll still be lonely and you'll still talk yourself out of it. Now is the time to talk yourself into saying yes to going to eat with friends, starting a conversation about how ridiculous your professor is to the person sitting behind you, inviting someone from an organization you're involved in to go around town with you.

It's never too late to change the situation you are in. Positivity works wonders and that's what I'm starting to realize. I'm tired of feeling lonely and like I have no one when I actually do. There are so many people reaching out to me and all of these lies I've been feeding myself have finally come up as just that; lies. The truth is I have the time, old friends, organizations and opportunities that have given me the chance to get out of loneliness for a while. I've only grabbed at it recently, but it feels so amazing. I'm sure you have the same opportunities in your life, but you just need to clearly see them with a positive attitude. Once you do that you'll be amazed at how much brighter your years at your University look. I dreaded staying here for four years and it hasn't even been a whole semester, but now I am excited to see what my future holds here. Forever to thee, Carolina.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

56022
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

36094
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

958063
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

187418
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments