We hear it over and over again: “College is the time of your life,” or, “These are moments you’ll look back and remember forever.”
For some, day one they jump right in, but for others, the more introverted others, we find ourselves far too often sitting on the bed in our dorm freshmen year, doubting that these statements could possibly be true.
College is great, and these memories will last a lifetime, but for some it’s not as easy to find the niche that fits best. For some it takes a lot of days of feeling lonely in big crowds and eating lunch by yourself before you finally feel connected. But as an introvert myself, I can say having lived through a sometimes-lonely freshman year, it is not as hard as you think once you actually get out and try.
For starters, don’t go home. Yes, you can actually go home, but not at first. Use the first few weekends to really get to know other people and go out to explore. Look at college as a move. You are moving to a new place, and you need to invest in where you are. It’s easy to miss friends and family back home, but by going home every other weekend, you put yourself at a disadvantage for becoming connected at the place you spend most of your time.
Embrace the awkward. Everyone feels it. It is normal when first getting to know people. The more you embrace it and continue to get to know people, the less awkward it will be and you will find yourself with a solid set of friends. Those times when you invite yourself along or ask the same people over and over to get dinner will pay off.
Do things you don’t want to do. It’s easy to let work and studying weigh you down. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Some times you will really just want to call it a night and go be in your room by yourself. But when you are invited to a late night cook out run, or an after dinner soccer game, or a night out with the girls, go! Don’t take the easy way out and pass it up. When you look back at college, the moments you will remember aren’t the ones spent in your room watching Netflix, but rather the nights you came home exhausted because you’ve spent all day making memories with great friends.
Most importantly, as cliché as it sounds, be yourself. Everyone wants to be someone else when they first start to make friends. The friendships that will last are the ones built on truth and openness. I promise it’s worth it. Even if at first you have trouble fitting in and you think it’s because of who you are, just give it time and don’t give up. Show people you are interested and care about them, and the rest will fall into place.
It is never too late to start making new friends. It’s never too soon to put yourself out there. Freshman year, and really all of college, will be full of ups and downs, but finding solid friends, no matter how hard it may be, will help you get through all the rough times and enjoy the good ones more.
