To The Girl He Loved Before Me:

Wow, it’s undeniable: you are beautiful. You are gorgeous and lovely and flawless, and it’s easy to see why he was in love with you. But I probably should have suspected that. You were able to catch his attention, which means you had to be pretty darn amazing.

You probably don’t know a thing about me, or even who I am, and that’s OK. I know you’ve moved on to a different guy, and you probably don’t think about him much anymore let alone the girl who will love him next. How you were able to get him off your mind I don’t know, but I know that you have, and I know he is just a distant memory to you now.

But you’re definitely not just a memory to him, and you’re certainly not just a memory to me. You’re here and present and I see you often, in him and in a lot of little different ways.

I see you as he struggles to get you off his mind. I see the remnants of what used to be a spark in his eye that you took with you when you left.

I see you when he accidentally mentions you in a casual conversation, and I see you when he feels bad about it because he knows I’m on to him.

I see you when he sleeps. I’m sure he’s still dreaming of you even when I’m snuggling up beside him. I see you when he’s drinking when he plays the song you used to share and when he wants to be alone.

I see you when he’s about to open up to me. You’re that hesitation he feels because he’s afraid he’ll get hurt again. I see you when he pulls away from me because when he loves, he loves with all his heart, and he knows you haven’t given him his back yet.

I see you in a lot of places, and it hurts me to know you still have that effect on him. Because I’d give anything to be that girl that he’s crazy about. And even if I do become that girl one day, I’ll know that if you hadn’t let him go, I never would have had a chance.

It stings to think that he loves you the way I want him to love me. And I hate that he feels bad about it because he doesn’t want to hurt me. I get it — he can’t help it just like I can’t help how much I like him.

I’m upset with you for hurting him, and I’m doing everything I can to put his heart back together. But you came through it like a wrecking ball, and trying to pick up the pieces after you is almost an impossible task.

I’m mad at you for what you put him through, and I hate that you hurt him the way you did. I hate how you can’t see how amazing you had it, and it bothers me that you made him feel like nothing when he’s everything to me.

I’m angry that you didn’t appreciate him for everything he is — genuine, sweet, kind and loving. I’m angry that you made it hard for him to trust me when I tell him I’d never hurt him because that’s the same thing you told him and you burned him, badly.

Frankly, I think you’re crazy, and I’ll never understand how you were able to let him go. Even if he stopped loving me, I don’t think it’d ever be possible for me to stop loving him. And even if you did stop loving him, you didn’t have to destroy him and drag his heart through the mud the way you did. He’s amazing and deserves so much more than that.

I know the kind of girl you are. You’re beautiful and can have any guy you want, and because of this, sometimes you don’t appreciate what you have when you have a really beautiful soul who loves you. For a girl like me, this is the only thing I’m ever going to want. And when I find it, I'm never going to let it go.

You had that, and you had it with one hell of a guy, and you walked away from it and him and left his heart bleeding.

And I’m never going to understand it. But it’s not for me to understand or judge.

I’m sorry. I really shouldn’t be so hard on you. I’ll never forgive you for scarring him like you did, but I guess I should be saying thank you. Thank you for letting him go. Thank you for helping him find his way to me. Thank you for giving me the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I don’t want to say thank you for hurting him and for causing all the pain you did, but I do want to say thank you for setting him free. Because even though he’s still lost without you, he somehow wandered my way, and having him when he’s confused and hurting is better than having anyone else at their best.

I know all I can do is wait. Wait for him to get over you, wait for him to stop loving you and wait until he gets his heart back so he can start to love me. And that’s OK — I’m patient, and he’s worth the wait.

One day, he’s going to forget about you, and he and I can finally share something like what the two of you had. But ours is going to be stronger because even when times get tough and he starts to question things, I’m never going to let him go. And our love story and happily ever after is going to last forever.