Dear Shyness,
You and I have a lot of history, which isn't surprising considering we've been together since third grade. Sometimes, I would think we were drifting apart but then I would be in a room full of new people and realize I had just simply become comfortable with my everyday. There are so many other people that I would have liked to have spoken to without becoming flustered, but you have always been there to hold my tongue and remind me of every awkward moment I have caused by speaking. You have closed so many doors, but I've realized that many of those were better left unopened anyways. I have hated you for so long, but thanks to other relationships in my life, I am learning how to get over you So while I am sure you and I are not finished, I am finally in a place with myself where I can move on.
Before I do that, however I want to say thank you. Thank you for helping me have stronger friendships. Without you forcing me to quietly observe all throughout middle school and most of high school, I would not have noticed patterns in other's relationships that I learned how to avoid. I actually met some of the best friends I have ever had because we all were shy and recognized ourselves in each other enough to become close almost immediately.
Thank you for reminding me to be kind, always. Not everyone is nice to the shy kid. We're easy targets because for the most part, we won't fight back. However, having dealt with my own bullies and embarrassment, I've learned that you never know what is going on inside someone's mind. Sometimes the stuck-up girl who thinks she is smarter than everyone is actually unsure of how to start a conversation and is terrified of getting an answer wrong in class. Sometimes the withdrawn guy who doesn't show any interest is overcoming a lot of trials outside of school and is simply exhausted from putting on fronts for everyone. It is always better to be kind than to put someone down for something that they probably can't control.
Thank you for making me see the world differently. While you have by no means made my life easier, you have given me a unique perspective on life and humanity that I never would have developed without you by my side.
You have taught me so many things about myself and others and so I am learning to be grateful for it. But, don't get me wrong, I don't appreciate the nervousness you gave me. I don't appreciate how I didn't feel in control of my voice. I don't appreciate how many interesting people I missed out on because of you. Nevertheless, you were a big part of me and I would not be where I am or who I am if I hadn't been yours for most of my life. I've learned you can't choose whether or not you are shy; but I've decided that from now on, I am choosing how I deal with insecurity and I don't want you to have nearly the influence over me that you've had for so long. Your free reign is over.
Love,
An Old Friend
