As I’m headed into my last year of college, I find myself looking back almost as often as I’m looking forward. Four years ago, I was looking towards high school graduation with a combination of relief and dread. I couldn’t begin to imagine where I would be at this point. There are a few things, though, that I probably knew better in theory than in practice, and they weren’t really things I was prepared to be confronted with. So, to my freshman self….
You have a long way to go. I don’t say that in a wallowing, despairing way. It’s true—everything now is just the beginning of a lot more to be done, to be changed, to live and laugh through. But as Robert Frost said, “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” You may, at some point, feel dreadfully friendless and alone. Or you may find yourself dreading the goodbyes at the year’s end. (Or, as in my case, all of the above—life often works that way.) But here I am, on the other side of all that (almost).
The first thing I must tell you is that forgiveness is so important. Practice this. When a roommate leaves their dirty dishes out, when a professor gives an ungodly amount of homework, when a friend forgets a meeting. It becomes a little easier when you have to forgive an injustice, anger, or your own everyday mistakes. It is not so simple as a word spoken or things forgotten—it is a daily exercise of faith in someone else’s good, a moving walk of love and mercy. It doesn’t necessarily wrap everything in a neat little bow; hurt is not meaningless, and healing takes time. But a practice of grace gives you a little more strength to move on.
Another thing to remember: fear is toxic and invasive, and more often than not it doesn’t appear in the way you’d expect. It’s easy enough to know (and feel ashamed of) fear’s face in your insecurities or your weaknesses. Maybe you feel fear wrapped around you when you’re around other people—you’re afraid of their eyes, their words, their confidence, or even their kindness and goodness. But as painful as those experiences might be, perhaps it’s hidden in other ways.
Perhaps it’s hidden in your pride, or your inability to forgive. Perhaps it’s hidden in the seemingly practical excuses not to pursue that one career, not to reach out to that one friend, not to help that one stranger.
But don’t ever let it hide your extraordinary capability and calling to love your neighbor as yourself.
There will be a lot of things you don’t know and a lot of times you mess up and hurt yourself or someone else. But life goes on, with or without you; college is not the sum total of your life. The way you live, mend, and pursue things now can be a beautiful rehearsal for the rest of your life.
Love,
Still-a-Work-In-Progress
