Dear you,
I know things have been difficult lately, and I'm sorry about that. When I embarked on the blooming journey of life, I didn't think it would have these many challenges embedded in it. Sure, people said "Life will be tough" and "You'll learn with time", but I always thought that I'd get to face those challenges with a sense of normalcy and sanity inside me. I always thought that it's the outside that gets really tough, but every experience makes you stronger on the inside. It's strange that people never mentioned the fact that before you get stronger, it nearly kills you. The loads of emotional turmoil, and the tears, the downfall, the disappointment and the suffering that I'd endure which would make me feel weak and so horribly helpless before I could even hope to get stronger. And even to let an experience make me stronger, it would require a certain kind of strength on the inside which I don't know if I have.
It's crazy when I think of all the challenges life has already shown and the ones that are still to come my way. I've made mistakes, just as anyone does. And it always seems like I'm paying a greater price for it than others around me, but I know very well that it's not true. Everyone has their fair share of challenges and yes, this is mine. There's been a lot of tears, and a lot of grief. There's been loss, sometimes one after the other, in one way or another. People have come, and a lot of them have gone as well, willingly or unwillingly. I'm grateful to the ones that have stayed, because they're a part of my strength. Heck, they are my strength and I know I am theirs.
So what brings me here today in this state of humility, gratitude and inner strength is what I hope will continue to take me far, far away and keep increasing in volume and tenacity. I know that it is all I need to go on, keep doing what I need to do, focus on myself while giving all that I can to others around me as well. Today if life shows me something I haven't seen before, I know that after all effort, heartbreak and momentary weakness, there will be light and strength to it, and I hope that it continues to make me more humble and grateful than I was the second before. After that scary grey ash cloud wears off, I know that the silver lining will be all that remains. Because that is exactly what has remained now, after the ash clouds of the past.
I will endure, suffer, adapt, change, fight, fall, resurrect, smile, and go at it again. I will keep my guns blazing, and I will ride out the night till the rays of the morning sun start smiling down at me. I will not let fear rule me, and weakness define me. I will stay put, stay strong, and stay humble.
Remember, this is only half the battle. You aren't done yet.....
