My Love,

This is something I haven’t told you but I will tell you now, on here, where my fingers can find the words better than my mouth ever seems to. I don’t think I have told you that our relationship scares me. I find myself fearful because I am terrified to think of what life would be like if our relationship ever ended…well…if you ended it. I say that because I know there is no way in hell I’d ever choose to leave a man like you. I’m afraid because I know no one could even come close to replacing you.

No one could truly understand me just how you do. I think of the times where I’ve been completely and inconsolably upset, but yet you know just what to do. You somehow become this wave of calm that pours over me, engulfing me like a blanket of security. In our embrace, no words are exchanged—none need to be—simply being bundled in your arms reassures me that everything will be okay.

I know no one else could think of all of the little things you do, like ordering extra lemons in your water whenever we’re out to eat, only to give them to me just because you know I love the extra in mine. I can’t think of anyone else who would open doors for me at every opportunity. That kind of chivalry seems to be dead, but not to you. I see how you treat your mother and two older sisters, I’ve never seen a man be so respectful to the women in his life.

I think of you and I think of your reckless smile, the only trace of evidence after you’ve just finished raising hell (playfully of course, always playfully). I think of you and I think of your piercing blue eyes, the eyes that took me so long to be able to read, that are continuously thinking. I think of you and I hear your laugh, the deep belly laugh that you do where your nose scrunches a little. It’s the million little things you do everyday, that I can’t even put my finger on sometimes, that make me re-fall in love with you all over again.

I am certain that no one else could be as understanding as you are. At the beginning of the school year last year, I was moving three hours South for my first year of college, while you were just beginning your senior year at our high school. There was so much change and distance. I’m not going to lie, it was hard. I couldn’t always make it home to see you, and vice versa. I was in the midst of discovering my major, and my workload was always ample to say the least. I joined a sorority and I made commitments I wanted to honor; I became a part of a sports club, which also demanded much of my time, but I was passionate about seeing improvement so my dedication was untiring.

All the while, you supported me without question. You trusted me without doubt. You’re my biggest supporter, and you’ve always been my biggest supporter. During my senior year of high school, when we first started dating, you came to every single one of my gymnastics meets. Near or far, you didn’t care, and I knew you would be there. You were my biggest fan (besides my mom, she will always have you beat on that one) and you still are, but you have no idea what your unwavering reliability and support means to me.

I tell you of things that other people find outlandish, but not you. I told you of how I wanted to venture to Africa for a month to volunteer and you encouraged that. I did it too, that very summer. I tell you of how I am going to be a successful writer, and even though I don’t know exactly how, I’m going to do it. And you believe me. You read all of my work and share it as if it were already famous. You were my very first follower on my Odyssey account and I nearly cried because it made me that happy.

From the beginning of our relationship, you set the tone for how we would treat each other. I had sadly become too entirely tolerant of being treated sub par. So you were a blessing, because you completely reset the bar for me. You showed me what a selfless love truly looks like, and I will forever be grateful for that. I will also forever be grateful for the type of person I’ve become because of you. I find myself to be more patient, rational, and mischievous. All of which, you can never have too much of in my opinion.

I think you’ll always be a bit of a mystery to me, because right when I think I have you figured out, you find a new way to surprise me or to catch me off guard. It’s been nearly two years since I first called you mine, and you still give me butterflies. You’re my best friend, who not only embraces my weirdness but adds to it. You’re the embodiment of the kind of love that every girl dreams of having.

I’ve come to the realization that I couldn’t love any soul but yours so effortlessly; thinking of this and the “what ifs” are absolutely terrifying, but I would rather feel this burden than live a life of comfort and oblivion. Regardless of whatever the future holds for us, I can at least go through life happy in knowing that soul mates actually do exist.

Forever yours,

Sammy