Dear Self,
I know you're hurting. You thought... that he was the one.
Yet, he isn't. And that is heartbreaking for you.
I know that you are in so much pain right now. He meant so much to you. And he will always mean so much to you. But, I promise you that you will be OK. Your heart will heal. In a few months from now, you will be looking back at this hard time and will be in awe in the strength you embodied, and continue to embody, despite all the hurt.
You see, when a person starts to love someone, they can start to believe their life won't have color without the person they love in it. So, when you lost him, you felt like color was slipping from your fingertips. Right now, you are seeing black and white. But, soon you will realize that you are the one allowing yourself to see life in this way.
Because you have lost him, you will realize that your life always had color in it, and by believing someone outside of you only has the power to bring that color, you are placing limitations on your happiness. For, he wasn't, and will never be the sole key to your happiness. YOU are the sole key to your happiness. You have an abundance of love, excitement, and joy within you. Even though it may be hard to believe it right now, your life is still beautiful without him in it.
You will connect with love again. As you heal from the pain that your heart is feeling, you will connect with the friends you forgot also had a major role in your life. You will dance in the grass and climb trees and have deep conversations and feel the love in your heart with them, even though your heart is aching. You will connect with your family again and realize how much love you have to give to them, and how much love they have to give to you, even though your heart is aching.
Finally, you will connect with yourself again, because your heart is aching. Your heart is aching because you feel like you are being caged away from love. Because your heart is aching, you will go on a quest to discover the love you believe it is missing. And this quest, in the end, will lead you to yourself. You will finally connect with yourself again.
What if I told you that you will fall in love again? You will fall in love with someone incredibly beautiful. Someone who values you and sees your worth. The person you will fall in love with is yourself. You will realize that being single doesn't mean that you are being stripped of love. Being single is the opportunity to remember that you are always so incredibly loved — by yourself. It's an experience to learn that no matter what happens in life, you will always feel so incredibly loved by someone and that someone is yourself.
Falling in love with yourself again will be one of the most exhilarating experiences you will ever experience in this lifetime. You will rediscover your worth, the worth you once believed could only be given by him. For he never held your worth. You only believed he did. And then you will realize that him letting you go is his loss. As you realize how precious you are, you will also realize how he is missing out on such a beautiful human being.
Right now, a lot of pain you're feeling is coming from the fact that you feel like there may be no one else out there for you. You once thought you would marry him one day. But, you're only 18. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you to find someone worthy of the love you have to give. There are so many amazing souls out there in this world. One day, you will find one worthy of you.
You thought that he was the one.
But if he truly was the one, he wouldn't let someone so precious like you pass him by.
He isn't the one. And that is heartbreaking for you right now.
But, one day it won't be. Your heart will heal. I promise.