A Letter To My Heartbroken Self, From The Other Side Of Heartbreak

A Letter To My Heartbroken Self, From The Other Side Of Heartbreak

What I wish my past self knew when I was heartbroken.

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Dear Self,

I know you're hurting. You thought... that he was the one.

Yet, he isn't. And that is heartbreaking for you.

I know that you are in so much pain right now. He meant so much to you. And he will always mean so much to you. But, I promise you that you will be OK. Your heart will heal. In a few months from now, you will be looking back at this hard time and will be in awe in the strength you embodied, and continue to embody, despite all the hurt.

You see, when a person starts to love someone, they can start to believe their life won't have color without the person they love in it. So, when you lost him, you felt like color was slipping from your fingertips. Right now, you are seeing black and white. But, soon you will realize that you are the one allowing yourself to see life in this way.

Because you have lost him, you will realize that your life always had color in it, and by believing someone outside of you only has the power to bring that color, you are placing limitations on your happiness. For, he wasn't, and will never be the sole key to your happiness. YOU are the sole key to your happiness. You have an abundance of love, excitement, and joy within you. Even though it may be hard to believe it right now, your life is still beautiful without him in it.

You will connect with love again. As you heal from the pain that your heart is feeling, you will connect with the friends you forgot also had a major role in your life. You will dance in the grass and climb trees and have deep conversations and feel the love in your heart with them, even though your heart is aching. You will connect with your family again and realize how much love you have to give to them, and how much love they have to give to you, even though your heart is aching.

Finally, you will connect with yourself again, because your heart is aching. Your heart is aching because you feel like you are being caged away from love. Because your heart is aching, you will go on a quest to discover the love you believe it is missing. And this quest, in the end, will lead you to yourself. You will finally connect with yourself again.

What if I told you that you will fall in love again? You will fall in love with someone incredibly beautiful. Someone who values you and sees your worth. The person you will fall in love with is yourself. You will realize that being single doesn't mean that you are being stripped of love. Being single is the opportunity to remember that you are always so incredibly loved — by yourself. It's an experience to learn that no matter what happens in life, you will always feel so incredibly loved by someone and that someone is yourself.

Falling in love with yourself again will be one of the most exhilarating experiences you will ever experience in this lifetime. You will rediscover your worth, the worth you once believed could only be given by him. For he never held your worth. You only believed he did. And then you will realize that him letting you go is his loss. As you realize how precious you are, you will also realize how he is missing out on such a beautiful human being.

Right now, a lot of pain you're feeling is coming from the fact that you feel like there may be no one else out there for you. You once thought you would marry him one day. But, you're only 18. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you to find someone worthy of the love you have to give. There are so many amazing souls out there in this world. One day, you will find one worthy of you.

You thought that he was the one.

But if he truly was the one, he wouldn't let someone so precious like you pass him by.

He isn't the one. And that is heartbreaking for you right now.

But, one day it won't be. Your heart will heal. I promise.

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13 Movies Every Couple Needs To Watch Before They Get Married

Let's be honest, Rachel McAdams is in all the best love stories.

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These 13 movies are the foundation of any long-lasting relationship, and I'm not joking. Each movie will show you something new about your partner, and make you ask each other the hard questions. How many kids do you want and how are you going to raise them? What would happen if you got into a horrible accident? Some are less serious though, like what if you could time travel?

I promise that not every one of these movies is a Nicholas Sparks classic, and I also promise that not every movie has Rachel McAdams in it!

1. "The Time Traveler's Wife"

This movie is both heartbreaking and amazing.

2. "About Time"

Let's be honest, Rachel McAdams is in all the best love stories. It's on Netflix right now, so grab some snacks and turn it on!

3. "Like Crazy"

This infamous Tumblr gif came from "Like Crazy." It's about a couple who goes long distance and build their life together. I used to cry every time I watched it, and I'm no crier! It also has the (now famous) Felicity Jones in it.

4. "The Notebook"

Every girl wants this kind of love.

5. "The Last Song"

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are literally married now so if that isn't good luck, I don't know what is.

6. "Safe Haven"

You guessed it! This is another Nicholas Sparks classic. This movie has a dark twist as well, which men will love.

7. "Inside Out"

You may be thinking that this one is a bit weird. Well, this movie will help both you and your partner understand each other's emotions better.

8. "The Choice"

This movie is great because the female lead is feisty and extremely intelligent, which usually doesn't happen in love stories. How do you keep the love alive with a woman who is hard to get, and even harder to keep entertained?

9. "The Longest Ride"

Originally I could not stand the main female lead (Britt Robertson) but now she is in one of my favorite shows (For The People), so I have no choice. This movie had me on the end of my seat, and as a rom-com it is a must.

10. "The Age Of Adaline"

I began loving the name 'Adaline' thanks to this movie. This unlikely love story and self love journey really gets me.

11. "The Vow"

Imagine falling in love with someone and building a life, but an accident forces you to start all over?

12. "Titanic"

If they don't have any sort of reaction to this movie, they are probably not the one for you.

13. "Yours, Mine, & Ours"

Yours, Mine, & Ours is a true classic. Are you Helen or Frank Beardsley? You should figure that out before you tie the knot!

You're welcome!

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Being A Military Wife Is Not The Same As Serving In Active Duty

It's about balance, and it's hard to find a happy medium between serving and supporting your spouse.

yahairas
yahairas
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I enlisted into the United States Air Force as a fresh-faced 18-year-old. I had just graduated high school and never experienced life on my own, away from what I knew and my loved ones and friends. The military was my first legitimate job. Thankfully, I knew independence since I had parents that ensured I knew how to handle myself. That does not mean I joined knowing everything there was to know. Far from it, actually, but that's OK.

My first and only duty station was Malmstrom Air Force Base. Before you think that Malmstrom is some exotic and foreign land, it's definitely not. My first base was in Montana. A very cold and unpredictable climate where you could experience beautiful summer sunshine one day and the next, find yourself running back up to your room to escape from the unexpected blizzard.

I was stationed in Montana as a security forces member (military police) for six very long years. During this time, I met some wonderful people as well as some people I know I would not mind never seeing again. I did a lot of my growing up at this location.

There were hard lessons that needed to be learned and experiences that I had to have in order to know what and what not to do in the future. Security forces is not the easiest or best job in the military. There are more challenges as a security forces member than most careers in the Air Force. There is the very likely chance of deployment into hostile locations where the member will face life and death challenges and have to make quick and ugly decisions and the schedule and duties are not ideal.

However, the good often outweighs the bad. The rewards for surpassing these challenges that seemed insurmountable at the time are some of the best in the world. I can say that the life lessons during my time in the service, no matter how uncomfortable it was at the time, is an experience of a lifetime. These challenges are unknown to the military spouse.

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Not long after separating from the military, I got married. We met while I was still in the military. My husband is still active duty in the Air Force, turning me into a military wife and dependent. It was a different role to take, knowing how many people in the military viewed military spouses. I found myself in a different bracket or tier than a lot of people. I was a military wife that was prior military. I understand the challenges my husband still undergoes in his enlistment because I knew the military life at one point. I did not have to be introduced into the military and the way it works blindly.

Throughout my enlistment, there were stories and jokes regarding military spouses, with emphasis on the military wife. Even now that I am no longer in the service, I still see memes on social media where military wives serve as a running joke. The jokes involving weight, attractiveness, infidelity or wives wearing the rank of their military spouse while attempting to utilize what power that rank may hold. Due to the stories I heard while I was in, I had a pre-conceived idea of what to expect as a military spouse. Some of the stories and jokes came from a center of truth. However, the stigma for a military wife would follow any and all military wives no matter the validity or lack thereof.

Photo of Yahaira Seawright at her Airman Leadership school graduation Yahaira Seawright

When I became a military wife, I wanted to make sure I did not fall under that stereotype. Becoming the dependent gave me something else to consider. It gave me the unheard side of those military spouses. There are so many challenges that we also face while being married to the military.

For example, we pick up and go at a moment's notice and often leave our careers behind if our spouses get moved. This makes it really hard to make friends and connections with other people. Plus, there's the reality that our spouses could lose their lives serving for our country.

A lot of the time, we become a single parent when our spouses are deployed. If we do go with, finding employment is really competitive and hard to do at all. It's hard on both of us because neither party will ever truly understand why things are done a certain way. Some things just aren't fair and that's a hard reality to deal with.

So, yes, the service of the military member is the military member's service, not ours. That fact does not mean we do not have our own sacrifices we made when we decided to marry into the military family.

The experience of the military member and the military spouse are two different sides, but they're both equally important.

yahairas
yahairas

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