To the woman who has been there since the dawn of my time here on earth and who has held my hand through whatever came my way: I cannot begin to describe my appreciation for you.
I was frequently reminded throughout my childhood that you "brought me into this world and can easily take me out." Although this was a clear warning to get me to behave in a socially and publicly acceptable manner, it took me quite a while to realize that you always had my best interests in mind. You may not always have shown me directly, but you were leading me down a life path and helping me make my own decisions with your own guidance and wisdom to encourage me to make the best possible choices for every aspect of my own success.
You have always made it clear that you were there for me, that you supported me, that you were always willing to help me; I just took a little while to hear the click and understand that concept. For this, I will always apologize. I dug my heels and fought you on far more things than you deserved, and in all honesty, threw more hell at you than was anywhere near necessary. For dealing with this with love forever in your eyes, I will always thank you.
Flash-forward, and 18 years have flashed by, as if on a short film reel. I'm graduating high school, I'm going off to college, and I'm getting my hand into my own little world. I'm trying to act tough and not miss home too much, but being out on my own is tougher than the "I'm OK, classes are fine" that I instinctively speak into the receiver on our weekly calls. You frequently well up with tears and tell me you miss me, and I have trouble understanding. The words you use, such as "proud" and "grown up," don't quite register for me yet because they're being heard by different ears.
The truth is, you've always been proud of me. You have always watched out for me. You were the one who day after day got to see me grow and learn and mature, and all I saw were the tally marks that dad made for my height. You got to see me grow into the person I am today, and actually got to lay witness what made me "me," behind the scenes. It was an odd concept for me to grasp. Of course you're proud of me. You brought me here and you shaped me.
Every play, choral concert, musical, soccer game, dance event, school function, and class project, you have been there with stars in your eyes. Every single time I looked for you for advice, you have not failed to tell me just what I needed to hear to overcome, instead of what I wanted to hear to stay happy. You always knew the answer for me, and you always had a shoulder wide open for my head to lie when I needed it.
I can't begin to say how much I appreciate and how dear I hold all of the love, support, and devotion you have given to me in the 18 short years of my life. But I hope that this can be a start.
To my heart, my cheerleader, my number one, and to the one woman I will always hope to be: Thank you, Mom. You will always be my home.
