This is a letter to all girls, whether you are entering high school or if you have already graduated. I won’t pretend to know everything, these are just some tips I have learned about life and wanted to share. I hope you find them useful.

To the girl entering high school,

I am about to tell you everything I wish someone had told me before I entered high school, so listen up. These tips might just save you from that unnecessary heartbreak or those toxic friendships. Or you know, they might not. Each person’s experience is unique, but I’ll do the best I can to make it relevant to you.

This is it. High school. You’ve spent your whole life waiting for it, now it’s here and you’re a mix of excited and nauseous. You have your best friends by your side and are ready to take on this new school. Last year, you were the top dog. This year, you’ve fallen back to the bottom of the food chain.

Before you start freaking out about upperclassmen, I can assure you, they won’t even know you’re there. Upperclassmen have so much else on their minds with graduation and their AP classes that they stopped paying attention to freshmen long before their senior year.

However, if you start disrupting the order of the school, you’ll start getting attention, but it won’t be the attention you want. My best advice to you is to respect the upperclassmen. They served their time as freshmen and they won’t have a problem putting you back in your place if you start acting all high and mighty with them.

I wouldn’t limit your respect to only upperclassmen though, you should be respecting your fellow classmates too. No one likes an arrogant person. You are much better off being nice to everyone. If you don’t give people a reason to dislike you, then usually they won’t have a problem with you, but there’s always an exception.

Haters are going to hate, so just forget about them. There’s no reason for you to be offended by the opinion of someone you probably will never see again after graduation. Don’t let it get to you. Just do your own thing and you’ll find people that suit you.

You do a lot of growing up in high school. You’ll find new interests and maybe join clubs you never thought you would. I urge you to GET INVOLVED. Join that club, play that sport, go to that event.

Put yourself out there! You’ll expand your horizons and meet so many new people. Coming into high school, you probably thought the friends you came in with would be the ones you leave with too. That’s not always the case.

You may find that you and your friends are branching out in different directions and that’s okay. This doesn’t mean you can’t stay friends, you might just find that you have drifted apart. I had to leave my fair share of friend groups, but I don’t regret it at all. The transition isn’t always easy, there were plenty of tears and fights, but I couldn’t be happier with the group of friends I came out with in the end.

It takes a while to find your niche, but you shouldn’t be afraid to search for it. No one is forcing you to stay friends with anyone, and social status should not be an excuse either. I repeat: SOCIAL STATUS IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO STAY WITH CRAPPY FRIENDS. I’ve seen people turn on their own morals just to fit in with what their friends were doing because they didn’t want to drop down on the social ladder. If you weren’t already aware, being popular isn’t all that glamorous and it doesn’t benefit you later in life anyway.

If your friends are no longer a reflection of the kind of person you want to be, leave. There is nothing holding you there. You will be a stronger person if you learn to stand up for what you believe in and surround yourself with people that inspire you and support you, not people who want to change you. I guarantee you will deal with peer pressure at some point in high school and I challenge you to not fall into it. It is a lot easier to stick to your beliefs when you surround yourself with like-minded people. You should never have to settle in a friendship.

Likewise, you should never have to settle in a relationship. You knew it was coming, it wouldn’t be real girl talk if it was missing. Boys. I know you were probably hoping to find that perfect boy once you entered high school. You’ve dreamed of that epic love story of marrying your high school sweetheart, but there’s a very low chance of that happening. I’m not saying you shouldn’t date in high school. If you find a boy that treats you right and makes you happy, I say go for it.

You learn a lot about yourself and how to treat others when you’re in a relationship. What I will say is, you should be picky about who you date. Don’t be the girl that dates every guy just because she can. Boys will not show you respect if they view you as “easy to get.” Instead, be the girl that everyone wants but no one can have. Be a person that deserves respect, not just expects it. Give yourself standards and don’t sink below them. Once you find a boy that respects you, give him your time.

Note: you do need to respect the boy back. Ladies, he deserves your respect just as much as you deserve his. In a relationship, you need to have a balance. Understand that while you may be very important to them, they can’t spend ALL of their time with you. There will always be other responsibilities and commitments in their life that may need more attention. This doesn’t mean they love you less, but you need to be supportive that they have a life that doesn’t always concern you.

This can be tricky, though. You don’t want to get in the habit of being put off. If your boyfriend starts treating your relationship like a convenience rather than a commitment, you need to have a serious talk.

Never put a boy first who always puts you second. It may be hard to believe now, but someday you will meet a man who is mature enough to treat you with the respect you deserve, but it is your job to make sure you are deserving. Have respect for yourself, treat others kindly, and try to be understanding and you will find someone worthy. Never settle for less than what makes you truly happy.

I know it is totally cliché to say high school goes by too fast, but there’s a reason it’s a cliché. It’ll be over before you know it, so make the most of while you’re there. Work hard, build friendships, make connections and overall, just enjoy your time. It’s the last stretch of your childhood, so live it up. There’s no need for you to rush into adulthood- it’s a much longer ride.