A Letter To Confident People

A Letter To Confident People

Because some questions need answering.
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Dear People Whom I Deem Beautiful and Confident,

Let me ask you a question: on behalf of all the people who sometimes feel and treat themselves like garbage, how do you do it? How do you go about your day convincing everyone that you’re 100% content with everything happening in your lives? How do you make it seem like you live a perfect existence (even though we know you don’t) and continue on, simply satisfied with what you’ve got? How did you reach your levels of confidence? Is the phrase “fake it until you make it” really something you live by? Or does it come by self-acceptance?

Often, I wonder if people like you are constantly happy. Obviously, I know you aren’t. You’re only human, and you’re bound to question your emotions. But you all seem to power through your struggles and end up in a good place at the end. Achieving something like that is beautiful to watch. It’s even magical. Even though it’s not easy all the time, how do you find the power to last through it?

In this part of the world, everyone always wants more. More money, more fame, more education, more justice, more drama, and even more fries. But the whole world strives for more happiness. To people like me, happiness seems to be the outcome of confidence. How do you make your confidence so appealing to those who lack it? How do you all convince us that confidence will make us happy?

Confident people: I want you to know that people aspire to be you. Many times, you’re the source of happiness and inspiration for people who cannot fully grasp the meaning of dignity and self-acceptance. I ask these questions merely out of curiosity, not to place you on a pedestal because I know you are also humans, and you have flaws too.

But the pinnacle of my thoughts is how you begin to accept yourself. Where do you begin? How do you begin to find beauty in the things that have disgusted you for years, or even decades upon end? What compels you to ignore the loud shouts of frustration and anger in your minds, and listen to the positive and encouraging voices instead?

If you know the answers to at least some of these questions, let us know. We’d really love to have them.

With Desperation,

Everyone Else Who Has Self-Esteem Issues

. . .

In any case, I’m fully aware that some of these questions may never have their answers because low self-esteem is something that everyone seems to suffer from. There are, however, a few individuals who have unlocked some keys of confidence. I’m proud to say that I’m friends with one of those people. Here are some lovely words to end with:

“I hadn’t realized just how much of a taboo self-confidence has become until I looked at myself. Why is it silenced? Why are the words ‘confidence’ and ‘arrogance’ interchangeable to many people? For so long, I’ve struggled with myself. I rarely felt beautiful, and when I did, I felt odd and almost uncomfortable. I thought confidence wasn’t something I was supposed to feel, and that I was better off littering my body with scars and filling my head with lies. I’ve recently been working on changing that in recent days. I still feel weird about referring to myself using words like ‘cute’, ‘beautiful’, and definitely ‘sexy’, but instead of fighting it, I’m trying to embrace it… I’ve begun to realize that confidence is a state of mind and not something that is reliant on physical beauty. Please, know that you are allowed to feel comfortable in your own skin. You’re a beautiful human being, who deserves to look at yourself with awe and wonder.” — Kristina Esmer

Cover Image Credit: Lifehack

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Bailey Posted A Racist Tweet, But That Does NOT Mean She Deserves To Be Fat Shamed

As a certified racist, does she deserve to be fat shamed?
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This morning, I was scrolling though my phone, rotating between Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube and Snapchat again, ignoring everyone's snaps but going through all the Snapchat subscription stories before stumbling on a Daily Mail article that piqued my interest. The article was one about a teen, Bailey, who was bullied for her figure, as seen on the snap below and the text exchange between Bailey and her mother, in which she begged for a change of clothes because people were making fun of her and taking pictures.

Like all viral things, quickly after her text pictures and harassing snaps surfaced, people internet stalked her social media. But, after some digging, it was found that Bailey had tweeted some racist remark.

Now, some are saying that because Bailey was clearly racist, she is undeserving of empathy and deserves to be fat-shamed. But does she? All humans, no matter how we try, are prejudiced in one way or another. If you can honestly tell me that you treat everyone with an equal amount of respect after a brief first impression, regardless of the state of their physical hygiene or the words that come out of their mouth, either you're a liar, or you're actually God. Yes, she tweeted some racist stuff. But does that mean that all hate she receives in all aspects of her life are justified?

On the other hand, Bailey was racist. And what comes around goes around. There was one user on Twitter who pointed out that as a racist, Bailey was a bully herself. And, quite honestly, everyone loves the downfall of the bully. The moment the bullies' victims stop cowering from fear and discover that they, too, have claws is the moment when the onlookers turn the tables and start jeering the bully instead. This is the moment the bully completely and utterly breaks, feeling the pain of their victims for the first time, and for the victims, the bully's demise is satisfying to watch.

While we'd all like to believe that the ideal is somewhere in between, in a happy medium where her racism is penalized but she also gets sympathy for being fat shamed, the reality is that the ideal is to be entirely empathetic. Help her through her tough time, with no backlash.

Bullies bully to dominate and to feel powerful. If we tell her that she's undeserving of any good in life because she tweeted some racist stuff, she will feel stifled and insignificant and awful. Maybe she'll also want to make someone else to feel as awful as she did for some random physical characteristic she has. Maybe, we might dehumanize her to the point where we feel that she's undeserving of anything, and she might forget the preciousness of life. Either one of the outcomes is unpleasant and disturbing and will not promote healthy tendencies within a person.

Instead, we should make her feel supported. We all have bad traits about ourselves, but they shouldn't define us. Maybe, through this experience, she'll realize how it feels to be prejudiced against based off physical characteristics. After all, it is our lowest points, our most desperate points in life, that provide us with another perspective to use while evaluating the world and everyone in it.

Cover Image Credit: Twitter / Bailey

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15 Winter Dates For Couples Who'd Rather Snuggle Indoors Than Step Foot Outside

Do I wanna build a snowman? Uhhhh NO!

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Christmas time in New England can get pretty damn cold. I mean, we do have a few warm days, but for the most part, it's cold, windy, and sometimes snowy out. Now, if you're anything like me and you don't like the cold, typical Christmas dates might not be for you, but luckily there's plenty of cute dates that don't involve venturing out in the freezing abyss.

So get your hot chocolate, eggnog, ugly sweaters and festive pajamas ready because here are 15 fun winter dates that don't involve you and your partner leaving the house at all.

1. Ginger bread house competition

2. Classic Christmas movie marathon

3. Hallmark movie marathon

Only because my boyfriend's mom LOVES them.

4. Okay so really just any Christmas movie marathon.

SANTAAAAAA

5. Making Christmas ornaments

6. Paper snowflake making competition

7. Baking and decorating (and eating!) Christmas cookies

8. Dance around to Christmas music

9. Make each other a new stocking

10. Write a letter to Santa

Super silly but super cute.

11. Take cute Christmas pictures

Giphy

Perfect time for those ugly Christmas sweaters or Christmas pajamas.

12. Decorate the Christmas tree

And you know the rest of the inside of the house.

13. Wrap presents together

14. Hang a mistletoe and kiss under it

15. Stay up tracking Santa

Don't forget to leave milk and cookies out for him, and carrots out for the reindeer.

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