A Letter To Confident People

A Letter To Confident People

Because some questions need answering.
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Dear People Whom I Deem Beautiful and Confident,

Let me ask you a question: on behalf of all the people who sometimes feel and treat themselves like garbage, how do you do it? How do you go about your day convincing everyone that you’re 100% content with everything happening in your lives? How do you make it seem like you live a perfect existence (even though we know you don’t) and continue on, simply satisfied with what you’ve got? How did you reach your levels of confidence? Is the phrase “fake it until you make it” really something you live by? Or does it come by self-acceptance?

Often, I wonder if people like you are constantly happy. Obviously, I know you aren’t. You’re only human, and you’re bound to question your emotions. But you all seem to power through your struggles and end up in a good place at the end. Achieving something like that is beautiful to watch. It’s even magical. Even though it’s not easy all the time, how do you find the power to last through it?

In this part of the world, everyone always wants more. More money, more fame, more education, more justice, more drama, and even more fries. But the whole world strives for more happiness. To people like me, happiness seems to be the outcome of confidence. How do you make your confidence so appealing to those who lack it? How do you all convince us that confidence will make us happy?

Confident people: I want you to know that people aspire to be you. Many times, you’re the source of happiness and inspiration for people who cannot fully grasp the meaning of dignity and self-acceptance. I ask these questions merely out of curiosity, not to place you on a pedestal because I know you are also humans, and you have flaws too.

But the pinnacle of my thoughts is how you begin to accept yourself. Where do you begin? How do you begin to find beauty in the things that have disgusted you for years, or even decades upon end? What compels you to ignore the loud shouts of frustration and anger in your minds, and listen to the positive and encouraging voices instead?

If you know the answers to at least some of these questions, let us know. We’d really love to have them.

With Desperation,

Everyone Else Who Has Self-Esteem Issues

. . .

In any case, I’m fully aware that some of these questions may never have their answers because low self-esteem is something that everyone seems to suffer from. There are, however, a few individuals who have unlocked some keys of confidence. I’m proud to say that I’m friends with one of those people. Here are some lovely words to end with:

“I hadn’t realized just how much of a taboo self-confidence has become until I looked at myself. Why is it silenced? Why are the words ‘confidence’ and ‘arrogance’ interchangeable to many people? For so long, I’ve struggled with myself. I rarely felt beautiful, and when I did, I felt odd and almost uncomfortable. I thought confidence wasn’t something I was supposed to feel, and that I was better off littering my body with scars and filling my head with lies. I’ve recently been working on changing that in recent days. I still feel weird about referring to myself using words like ‘cute’, ‘beautiful’, and definitely ‘sexy’, but instead of fighting it, I’m trying to embrace it… I’ve begun to realize that confidence is a state of mind and not something that is reliant on physical beauty. Please, know that you are allowed to feel comfortable in your own skin. You’re a beautiful human being, who deserves to look at yourself with awe and wonder.” — Kristina Esmer

Cover Image Credit: Lifehack

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10 Things Someone Who Grew Up In A Private School Knows

The 10 things that every private school-goer knows all too well.

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1. Uniforms

Plaid. The one thing that every private school-goer knows all too well. It was made into jumpers, skirts, shorts, scouts, hair ties, basically anything you could imagine, the school plaid was made into. You had many different options on what to wear on a normal day, but you always dreaded dress uniform day because of skirts and ballet flats. But it made waking up late for school a whole lot easier.

2. New people were a big deal

New people weren't a big thing. Maybe one or two a year to a grade, but after freshman year no one new really showed up, making the new kid a big deal.

3. You've been to school with most of your class since Kindergarten


Most of your graduating class has been together since Kindergarten, maybe even preschool, if your school has it. They've become part of your family, and you can honestly say you've grown up with your best friends.

4. You've had the same teachers over and over

Having the same teacher two or three years in a row isn't a real surprise. They know what you are capable of and push you to do your best.

5. Everyone knows everybody. Especially everyone's business.

Your graduating class doesn't exceed 150. You know everyone in your grade and most likely everyone in the high school. Because of this, gossip spreads like wildfire. So everyone knows what's going on 10 minutes after it happens.

6. Your hair color was a big deal

If it's not a natural hair color, then forget about it. No dyeing your hair hot pink or blue or you could expect a phone call to your parents saying you have to get rid of it ASAP.

7. Your school isn't like "Gossip Girl"

There is no eating off campus for lunch or casually using your cell phone in class. Teachers are more strict and you can't skip class or just walk right off of campus.

8. Sports are a big deal

Your school is the best of the best at most sports. The teams normally go to the state championships. The rest of the school that doesn't play sports attends the games to cheer on the teams.

9. Boys had to be clean-shaven, and hair had to be cut

If you came to school and your hair was not cut or your beard was not shaved, you were written up and made to go in the bathroom and shave or have the head of discipline cut your hair. Basically, if you know you're getting written up for hair, it's best just to check out and go get a hair cut.

10. Free dress days were like a fashion show

Wearing a school uniform every day can really drive you mad. That free dress day once a month is what you lived for. It was basically a fashion show for everyone, except for those upperclassmen who were over everything and just wore sweat pants.

Cover Image Credit: Authors Photos

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An Emotional Smackdown of ME vs ME

Let's see who wins.

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I cannot seem to keep my head above water. I'll be there existing then without warning, the water is filling my lungs. I am drowning and completely unaware of how I got there.

And then, I'm not even in the water.

I am not drowning.

All of this imagery is a noose around my brain cutting off circulation from my sense of reality to insanity. My mind is pulling at the noose and tightening it around my neck. I see my arms reaching for it but then it whispers, "why? Why should you go on? Who do you think you are fighting me? I OWN YOU. I AM YOU."

I cry and the voice in my head tells me the only comfort is in trusting myself...

take the gun

don't slow down

stop eating

stop breathing

die.

When I find my voice and shush my mind by screaming, it only withers away for a while. It flares up and again I am crying in the middle of a workday. I am anxious when I pee. I am sad when I eat. I am angry when I run. I am ALWAYS fucking FEELING something. AND when it's a good feeling, I do not trust it. I am in pain 24/7 and I feel like every lasting moment of happiness or peace is just a ticking time bomb until the next wave hits me.

I am trying to do the thing where I "stay positive" and put face masks on but, I really just want to put a face mask on my brain. Can I please purify my mind instead of my pores for a second?

I have to tell myself things that I don't hear other people say. What's it like to not cry every day?

How does it feel to not feel everything?

Is it amazing knowing you are loved?

How do I get to where you are when I have an anchor around my neck making sure I drown, even when I try to swim.

I fight to stay alive and I am tired.



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