Everyone has different opinions on sex — that’s obvious. Some people want to wait until marriage, some want a committed relationship before they do, and some people want to have sex many times with many different partners. As long as it’s consensual, sex should always be the decision of the people involved.

Unfortunately, a lot of people do not see it this way. Many people teach kids from a young age that sex is always bad until they are married. Children are told that premarital sex is inherently evil and that it is one of the worst sins they could possibly commit.

While waiting until marriage is a perfectly good and respectable decision, the rhetoric around sex can be harmful to young people.

For example, if someone is told sex is only for the one person you love, they might start to confuse lust for love. They might feel a sexual desire for someone, and because they are told that sex is for when they’re in love, they think they are in love. Then they have sex, and later, realize that they are not actually in love with this person; it was just hormones.

This can be really dangerous. I know so many people who thought they were in love, so they had sex, only to realize they were wrong. They then felt guilty. They felt like they could not leave their partner because they had sex. This is unhealthy.

It is also unhealthy when people are already in bad relationships, and they feel they cannot leave because they had sex. Again, I know so many people who stayed with significant others who abused them or cheated on them because they thought they could only have sex with one person.

Some people are not mature enough to be having sex, but when the rhetoric around sex is “you can only have sex with one person,” people get trapped. They stay with abusers because they made a promise to God to only be with one person. Now, I can’t speak for God, but I can’t imagine that He would rather you stay with a horrible person than end up having sex with more than one person.

It goes the other way, too. People who choose to have premarital sex or sex with multiple partners are judged and degraded for their decisions. It’s not just a generational thing — though that does play a role. I know people my age who judge others for having sex before marriage. I know people my age who judge others for having sex with a number of people.

Having a lot of sex does not make a person inherently bad. Too many times, people are judged solely on their sexual activity, when really, that does not matter to anyone except the people having sex.

We as a society need to realize that sex is a choice. We need to respect people’s choices. No one should judge people for having multiple partners, and no one should judge people for waiting until marriage. But before this can happen, we need to change how we talk about sex. People should not feel guilty and should not have to deal with judgment. So, let's start changing the culture.