I understand why you're wary. Lifetime's "Dance Moms" hasn't really put the world of competitive dancing in the best light. Moms screaming at each other and children, a dance teacher that's always putting students down, and the extreme stress of learning a new dance routine every week. But none of that is what the competitive dance world is really like. As a former competitive dancer, I'm here to tell you what it's really like and why letting your child compete could be one of the best things you've ever done for them.

Competitive dance isn't anything like depicted on "Dance Moms". Sure, there's dances, costumes, and competitions but the show makes it all seem very unrealistic, I'm guessing from producers and network pressure, but that's another story. Most studios will hold an audition in early summer and teams/different routines will be created from that audition. These placements will rarely change, except for an unseen, extenuating circumstances, but those instances are few and far between. There's none of the flipping back and forth with who is on what team; Your child will be placed on a team and their spot will be secure once auditions are over. And no, there's definitely no pyramids (that's another producer gimmick forced on Abby and the dancers).

Rehearsals will start around the time kids go back to school from summer break and their first competition probably won't be until late winter, usually after the new year (This is just my experience and knowledge of other studios I've encountered, this is by no means a schedule every studio follows). That's right, there's no learning routines the week before competition and learning a brand new one the next. Dancers are well rehearsed and have known their routines for months before they hit the stage. This gives dancers more confidence and an ability to relax a little knowing their routine is in their muscle memory. Especially with younger dancers, a dance instructor would never send them onstage without having full confidence in their knowledge of the routine. When it comes down to it, the teachers have your child's best interest at heart, they aren't more worried about a trophy than your dancer.

Competitive dance will teach your child to be flexible, and I don't just mean the splits. A competition stage might be smaller than anticipated so the dancers will have to adjust onstage as they perform, because there's not time for teams to run-through their dances on the stage before they compete. A dancer might miss a step or a queue, so they'll have to get back on beat or figure out how they're going to get back on stage, all while competing. Dancers are taught that even if something goes wrong or gets messed up, they are supposed to always keep going.There were many times during my dance career where I had to adjust quickly, and I'm better because of it, and I owe that all to competitive dance.

Competitive dance is the ultimate team sport. At competition, studio teachers, dancers, and the parents are more like a family. Everyone is feeling the pressure of the competition so they can lean on each other for support. Parents will check and make sure every dancer is stage ready, dancers will help each other warm up, and teachers will make sure everyone is running on time and have dancers run their routines. If someone forgets a black sports bra for their hip hop costume, someone will always have a spare. If a new dancer is nervous, the older girls and their parents will help them through their nerves because they've been there. Everyone is there for each other, no matter what happens or what award they receive.

At competition, dancers don't just support their own teammates, but also the other dancers at the competition. Backstage, there are 'good lucks' and 'good jobs' exchanged, costumes complimented, and help if it's needed. Although everyone is there is a competitor, everyone supports and cheers each other on. Everyone is dealing with the same nerves, so there's a mutual understanding that everyone should support each other, teammates and competitors. At the end of the day, everyone is there because they are doing what they love, the awards and placements are secondary, so no one is going to bring someone down just because they scored better than them. Sportsmanship is one of the core values of the competitive dance world. By having your child compete, you're allowing them to learn how to not only be a competitive dancer, but also a supportive dancer.

I wouldn't be the person I am today without competitive dance. I've gained priceless memories, lifelong friendships, and the skills to be a successful dancer, as well as a successful person. I've learned to win graciously, lose honorably, and try endlessly. Dance isn't about being the best dancer in the room, but being a better dancer than you were yesterday. By having your child be a competitive dancer, you are setting them up to become a greater version of themselves, and that will all be because you let them compete.