I'm sure you've heard someone say, "you have to love yourself before you can love another person".
I do love myself! is the usual response.
However, it's not until someone questions you and challenges you on your declaration of self love that you actually break it down and think - do I really love myself?
Recently, my declaration of self love was questioned by a friend. My first and inherent reaction was natural, a feeling of anger and slight embarrassment. How could someone I am so close to tell me that my claim to self confidence is a lie? However, at second glance I thought to myself, maybe they're right. Maybe I do need to take a closer look. Am I truly confident as the person I am?
Do I love my mental, emotional, and physical self? I broke it down.
I am proud of the intelligence I have gathered over the years, that has gotten me to where I am today. I go to a great school, I do well in school, I am able to have intelligent conversations...but guess what else? I love that I don't know everything, I love that there is so much more for me to learn, and I love the fact that I have the drive to continue on a path of learning. Want to know something else? Sometimes my brain drives me a little crazy. I'm the kind of person who can have hundreds of thoughts zipping through their mind at once. And sometimes these thoughts aren't positive ones. Sometimes they are thoughts that make me anxious and stressed. But they are also thoughts that help me come to conclusions, that help me write creatively, that make me think of the world in a more complex way. I love my zipping thoughts and I still love myself even when they drive me nuts. I overthink and I analyze. Does that mean I don't love myself? I don't think so. I obviously don't enjoy feeling anxious and stressed sometimes and I honestly work towards having less of those feelings every day. I love myself for working on that aspect of me. I'm not quite there yet but I have come a long way. As for physicality, sure; sometimes I look in the mirror and wish I could change a few things -- but honestly, who doesn't?! Those of you who don't, I commend you. For the majority though, I'm with you. Believe it or not, sometimes I actually don't see a single flaw when I look in the mirror. Narcissistic? Nope, that's just me loving myself. As for personality, I like mine. I think that I'm kind and thoughtful, fun and enjoyable to be around. I try my best to brighten people's days, whether they are a friend or a stranger. Sometimes I can be quiet and introverted but other times I am full of energy and excitement. There are different sides of my personality and I love them all.
After second thought I realized yes, yes I DO love myself. There may be areas that I want to work on but I can still love myself in the mean time. Yeah, I have flaws but admitting that I have flaws doesn't mean I am not loving myself to full capacity. I love myself for having the confidence to admit that I have flaws, for realizing that there are things I could work on to make myself a better person, and I will love myself just the same on the day that I finally succeed in making those changes. Sure, sometimes I care too much about what others think, sometimes I may give off a vibe that I'm insecure, but let that be my struggle. Let me love myself regardless.