When my first semester of college approached its end, my life came to a grinding halt. My drinking had been spiraling out of control for months by then, but I refused to acknowledge it. Hopeless and bitter, I let my addiction devour me. For a long time, I couldn’t picture my life without alcohol, but now I’ve been sober for three months. In retrospect, I can say the grass truly is greener on the other side. If you’re contemplating giving up alcohol, here are a few things I learned on my journey to recovery.
1. If you’re thinking about quitting drinking, you should probably quit drinking.
If you’re anything like me, your alcohol consumption has left your life in shambles. Whether you’re considering quitting because of the friend you picked a fight with or the person you didn’t mean to kiss, if you’re making decisions you’re regretting in the morning (or not remembering), it’s time to put down the shot glass. I have countless friends who indulge (some a little too often or too much), but even still, they don’t have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Remember: people who don’t have a problem with substance abuse don’t generally consider slowing down. If the thought has crossed your mind, it’s probably time to act.
2. You aren’t alone.
In fact, statistics show that 40 percent of college students in America don’t participate in “heavy drinking” or “binge drinking” at all. Of the 60 percent who do, 36 percent are considering quitting, in the process of becoming sober or have been for some time now. It certainly isn’t the majority but that’s expected. Nonetheless, you certainly aren't alone.
3. It isn’t easy to do, but it is realistic.
The number of people who told me my decision to quit drinking was unrealistic is seriously disheartening. Even the people who agreed that my alcohol use was getting out of control still said that cutting it out entirely was out of the question. It might take you months to successfully do, and throughout those months you may change your mind on the decision many times, but don’t lose faith. Every time you get back at it, you’ll be one step closer to a more peaceful lifestyle. Your goal isn’t out of reach, it just takes a lot of hard work.
4. You’ll probably lose some friends.
I know it’s unpleasant to hear, but start coming to terms with it now. People bond over alcohol use. While some aspects of drinking are fun and others are miserable, collectively these things will bring you closer to your drinking mates. You may think your best friend is the girl you hang out with on Wine Wednesday or the guys you go shot for shot with. Unfortunately, once you quit drinking, you’ll lose your biggest common interest with them, maybe your only common interest. Remind yourself that this should not have been the basis of your relationship in the first place. Because it was, you were probably going to lose touch eventually anyway. Please believe that you will find friends who support your sobriety, whether or not they’re doing it too. Alas, not everyone will.
Note: Chances are a few of the people you often drink with also have a detrimental relationship with alcohol and your lifestyle change may be threatening to theirs. They might get angry. You may simply go your separate ways. Just remember that new friends are right around every corner and one of the greatest blessings that comes with this decision is discovering who your true friends are.
5. You’ll feel (and see) the difference.
Not only will you never have to wake up again with a pounding headache, upset stomach and no recollection of the night before, but you’ll actually notice a huge change in the way you think in general. Your mind will be much clearer. Your school work will improve. And guess what ladies and gents? You’ll lose weight and be in much better shape. Seriously, I’ve never looked and felt so good.
6. Nothing will change overnight.
If part of the reason you’re quitting drinking is because your reputation is not that of the general upstanding citizen, that’s a pretty good reason. To be clear, it definitely shouldn’t matter what other people think about you, if (strong if) you think highly of yourself (and not just when you’re eight shots deep).
If you’re making the decision to quit drinking, it’s probably because, these days, you’re starting to agree with the people who think negatively of you. The most frustrating thing that happens when you’re finally making strides in your sobriety is that your reputation doesn’t change when you do. If you’ve hurt people, they’ll have to see your change in action before they believe and forgive you. If everyone knows you as the kid who always blacks out, they’ll probably still hold that view even months into your sobriety. With time, they’ll understand that you’re serious about this transformation and everyone will be just as proud of you as you are (and they should be).
7. This is a really cool (and mature) decision.
Some days I still get nervous when I tell people I don’t drink. It’s easy to assume that people will become bored with you. Luckily, people tend to be really interested and impressed with this choice. You’ll start making real (and sober) connections with people, some of which will begin because of your decision to quit drinking. Sobriety isn’t something a lot of people can accomplish, so most people want to hear all about it.
8. You won’t regret it.
If I could go back and never take my first sip of alcohol, I would. I regret a thousand things I did when I was drunk, but I have never come back from a sober night out and thought, I wish I drank tonight. Having a clear mind (especially when people around you don’t) is incredibly satisfying.
9. You might relapse (and that’s totally OK).
Relapse is a scary word and I’m very hesitant about using it, but unfortunately there really isn’t a better way to describe it. You might slip up and drink. Even after several sober months, you could cave. That’s OK. Just hold firmly onto the belief that you’re brave, strong and capable of making this change. These short regressions and your return to sobriety will only prove to you how important this decision is.
Everyone’s story is different and there are a multitude of lessons I’ve learned throughout this process that are not mentioned here. Alcohol abuse is a really tricky issue, but if you can keep these nine statements in mind, you’ll make it through. For those of you struggling, breathe. Be still. It’ll get easier every day and I can’t wait to see what you become on the other side of this.
