The Problem With Straight Girls, From A Lesbian​
Start writing a post

The Problem With Straight Girls, From A Lesbian​

Every gay woman knows that straight girls will ruin your life, but the reason why is more serious than anyone ever acknowledges.

The Problem With Straight Girls, From A Lesbian​
Ken Lundberg

So here's the thing: I love straight people as much as the next guy.

But being gay and trying to date straight girls is the hardest thing ever.

Now, by straight, I don't mean someone who isn't homosexual. Obviously, if you find yourself in a relationship with someone the same sex as you, you've got a little something going on that certainly wouldn't classify you as "straight."

By straight girls, I mean closeted girls. The girls that have romantic relationships with women but don't want to be seen in public on a date. The girls who can't stomach planning a future with a woman, despite any daydreams of a happily ever after with her by their side.

The girls who can't even come out to themselves.

Unfortunately, I feel like these kinds of straight girls are just so hard to stay away from. Even just considering my straight female friends brought me to the conclusion that they're all total sweethearts that just need to be rescued from their ain't-sh*t boyfriends, and I want to be their knight in shining button-ups.

But the process is always the same: I meet a girl who says she's questioning her sexuality, we hit it off and I promise to help her adjust, then the relationship ends all too quickly, and always for that very reason. My emotions get all jacked-up, then almost instantly let down.

For me, this means that I feel like I'm on a constant track towards disappointment, even though I know what I'm getting into in the beginning and that it probably won't work out.

As hard as it is for myself and my gay counterparts hopelessly chasing straight girls, so sure we can "change" them, this cycle is no easier for our quarry.

I think that, as a community, we can sympathize, and sometimes empathize, with the feeling of being torn between the painstaking awareness of who you are and devil on your shoulder telling you its wrong. But the problem is that this internal struggle is all too familiar to a lot of the community, and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier, either.

Even with all of the Pride celebrations, national acknowledgment of the struggle that queer people have experienced for decades, and representation in the media, internalized homophobia still runs rampant. In fact, my most painful experiences with homophobia haven't been from homophobes, but within the very community where I found my tribe.

On countless occasions, I've dealt with anger and disgust from "straight" people who refuse to respect that part of who they are, or who resent me for my pride. So many friendships and relationships have been torn apart because one party feels too much pressure from our homophobic society that they squash it down themselves before the external pressures have the chance to.

It's no wonder that straight girls make such bad decisions when thrust unexpectedly into a relationship with a woman.

The closet is a dark, depressing place that clouds your judgment, dulls your morals and forces you to disregard what makes you happy, let alone the happiness of others.

Maybe that's why the LGBT+ flag is a rainbow, symbolic of breaking free from the darkness.

But one of the hardest things to accept as a gay person after coming out is that even if you kick your own internal homophobia out the door, you have the hardships of the rest of the community to deal with, too. It is a truly exhausting uphill battle; abandoning your pain only to have it replaced by that of millions of others.

Or even the pain of that one special girl who hates herself for loving you.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments