leave if you're underappreciated

Being Alone Trumps Being Underappreciated Every Time

Know your worth and don't stick around if you're not getting out what you put in with your S/O.

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Let's be honest, no one really wants to be alone. I don't care if you're the biggest player out there or love feeling free, there are always going to be nights you wish you weren't going to bed alone. Or, you could be that person who loves attachment and craves attention from anyone who is willing to give it to you. Whatever type of person you are, there is no excuse imaginable that would make being in an unhealthy relationship okay.

If your significant other does not quite literally kiss the ground you walk on, when you would cross the ocean for them, they aren't worth a second more of your time. You deserve better than someone who is barely doing the bare minimum for you. You deserve the love you're giving and there's no reason to settle for less.

Knowing you deserve more and not doing anything about it might be the most disrespectful thing you could do to yourself. Later, you're only going to regret wasting so much time being unhappy when you could have been taking that time to become independently happy.

Deciding to walk away from someone who you invested so much time and effort into is never easy, everyone understands that, but no one understands why you're holding yourself back when you're aware of that fact. It's going to be hard at first, but in the end, you know you did the right thing. Don't think of leaving as giving up, but that you exhausted every effort you had. If you've gone above and beyond for someone and they won't reciprocate even the slightest, even after verbalizing your feelings, there's nothing more that you can do. It's not your fault that you have to leave.

It's truly unhealthy for you to stay in a relationship that you only give to, but never get anything from. A relationship takes two and there's no way to compromise that. If your S/O isn't willing to do what you would do for them, it's already an unequal relationship. If their actions don't match their words, don't trust that they're going to be there. You should be able to count on your S/O, not hope they pull through for you this time.

Don't be afraid to move on. There are good ones out there, I promise.

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I like you because, i love you despite, a letter to my future husband

I might not have met you yet, but I already know I love you.

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Like other hopeless romantics, I have been continually disappointed with the Rom-Coms selection from Netflix. That was until I watched, Set It Up. The part of the movie that stuck with me the most was a scene at an engagement party. The bride-to-be gives a speech to her guest about a lesson her grandmother taught her. Long story short, she says to her fiance, I like you because, and I love you despite.

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I noticed my mom and I were both teared up after listening. It made me think about how I want my marriage to be someday. Just days after watching this movie, I came across a letter I wrote to my future husband when I was 13 years old. I decided to take this concept from Set It Up and intertwine it with the letter I found from middle-school me.

So...

Dear Future Husband,

I don't know you yet, but I know I love you like I've never loved anyone before. Sometimes I stay up at night and wonder how we'll meet, how our first date will go, and what color your hair will be. You'll have to be tall because this girl has legs meant for heels. I bet you love dogs and you buy me lots of ice cream. I wonder if you'll know my favorite. If you are here today as my future husband, chances are you know cookie dough is my favorite, and I'll bet you're a pretty fantastic human being.

You probably know I have a few faults...or many, many faults. Sometimes I get frustrated and it makes me cranky. I hate admitting I'm wrong and I laugh way too hard at jokes that aren't really that funny, sometimes at inappropriate times. You probably never know why I'm crying; I tend to cry for many different reasons. I talk really fast when I get excited, but sometimes I don't talk at all when I'm mad. I'm terrible at math, science isn't my thing either. I'm impossible to communicate with when I'm focused on a project, and I need complete silence when I write papers. Although it's important you know my faults, it's even more important that you've decided to love me regardless.

I don't know you yet, but I'm assuming you'll have some faults too.

I probably can't stand the way you say the word, "crayon" and you probably complain when I walk away instead of fixing a problem. I'm assuming sometimes you forget to tell me how good I'm looking on date nights, and you probably forget to close the door after you've opened it. Occasionally you forget to open the door for me and kiss me on the cheek-- something I hope you consider doing if you haven't already because my grandparents would expect nothing less. I bet you watch too many sports and sneeze way too loud. I guarantee I hate when you talk while yawning, and sometimes you cheat during card games. I bet you drive way too fast and don't stop at the stop sign for the entire 3-seconds. I'll bet you snore when you sleep and forget to put gas in the car.

But even with all these faults, there is a reason I like you.

I like the way you say my name each morning and follow up with a kiss on my forehead. The way you look in a suit and tie probably makes my knees week, and I bet you make me feel safe when I'm wrapped up in your arms. I like you because you hold my hand in public, but don't show too much affection because PDA is DISGUSTING. I like the way you connect with my brother and can hold a conversation on the back porch with my dad. If we are standing here together, you've probably stolen my mom's heart and I'll bet she can sense the love you have for me with every breath you take. I like that you understand we will be raising Australian Shepards together, cause what other dogs could we possibly have??

You probably honor every wish my grandma ever had for me and reflect the kind of love I see in my aunt Liz and uncle Duane's marriage. You might not like Obama as much as me, but you tolerate my presidential-crush. When you kiss me, I like how sparks fly, just like my grandma once described to me. I like the way you love me passionately and are the most unique individual I've ever met. I like that you go to ballets, even if you fall asleep, and I like how you dance with me in the kitchen. I like the goals you set for yourself and how considerate you are of those around you. I like that every problem we face, we face together, my hand holding onto yours. I like you because you chose to love me, even if I can be hard to love.

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I know I will search high and low for you because the love we will have for one another is unlike any love I have ever know. I promise to love you for the things I like about you and to love you despite the faults you have. You are my prince charming, my soulmate, and my best friend. You're everything I've ever wished for.

I might not have met you yet, but I already know I love you.

I can't wait to meet you,

Your future wife,

Aneka Something

Cover Image Credit:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Royal_Wedding_Stockholm_2010-Slottsbacken-05_edit.jpg

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