Often times when people walk out of our lives, we automatically begin to question ourselves. What did I do wrong? What is wrong with me? Why don’t they love me? I’ve been the person who walked away and I’ve been the person on the other side of that goodbye, begging someone to stay. Neither has ever been an easy place to be.
When someone has walked out of my life, I have always been told that it was because it wasn't “meant to be” or that “they don’t know what they are missing” or that “I deserve better”. I’m sure you have heard those same words. However, no matter how many times I hear those words, I still find myself over-analyzing every conversation and wondering where I went wrong. I lay awake at night trying to understand how two people could care so much about each other and still not be able to make things work.
The truth is, sometimes it just doesn’t and there isn’t an explanation.
People walk away for a multitude of reasons. Some people leave because they have found someone new to love and sometimes people walk away because they're scared or are no longer happy or need to figure out what they want out of life. You may just want different things or be in two different places in your lives and that’s okay.
The question you should be asking yourself is why would you want to be with someone who doesn't feel lucky to have you or thinks it’s a chore to spend time with you or return your call. You should be asking yourself why you feel the need to let someone else effect your happiness and self worth. You are not someone’s second choice. You are not someone’s almost or someone’s back-up plan. You are worthy enough to be someone’s everything, but you have to quit obsessing about the person who didn’t see your worth or who did and just didn’t want to be with you.
I have always been told to do what makes me happy, so why is it so hard for us to let someone else do what makes them happy, just because that “thing” doesn’t involve us? How long someone chooses to love you will never be your choice, but how long you choose to keep holding on is up to you. You can’t change people and no matter how much you love someone, you can’t make them love you back. It may seem like your whole world is falling apart, when really only one chapter of a very long story is coming to an end. The pain will eventually fade and you will survive. You will learn to live without the person who walked away from you and remember that you are an amazing person and deserve someone who would never let you go. So instead of spending your time second guessing yourself and asking yourself, “Why don’t they love me?”, why not spend your time doing what makes you happy and knowing that you are enough? Just because they didn't love you, doesn't mean you can't love yourself. Because that's what really matters.
