Learning to love my body has been a life long process. I have learned so much up to this point, and it still takes an abundance of mental strength for me to accept and love my body every day. I have put it through so much, and it really is amazing what out bodies do for us every day.
Society has taught us to take care of our bodies for the aesthetic, and it has taken me a long time to realize this shouldn't be my main goal. I have gone through many different phases in my life pertaining to how I treated my body. I have eaten nothing but the WORST food for myself because I decided if I was going to hate the way I look, I minus well not care. I have also gotten to scary points in my life where I started to hate my body so much I was desperate to change it, in any way possible. I was eating maybe once a day, and working out 3 times a day for hours at a time.
About a year ago, I started to change the way I saw food and my body. I started dating my now boyfriend, who meal prepped almost every night. Just seeing him eat in a better way, made me want to change my eating too. I started eating healthy, like actually healthy, not those insane "healthy diets" of celebrities we see every day. I ate far less fried food, had fish almost every day, and started to fall in love with fruits and vegetables. The funny thing is, I really stopped caring how I looked. I went home for the summer and everyone asked me how I lost so much weight and honestly, I hadn't even noticed until they mentioned that I had.
Sadly, this constant mention of my weight put my focus back on how I looked, instead of how I felt. I started this year off restricting my diet again and looking at myself in the mirror 5-6 times a day to see if I noticed a change. But then, I found body positivity blogs on Instagram that talked about loving their bodies and eating and working out on that main idea, and I decided that I wanted to make a change. I'm back to eating healthy again, honestly probably the healthiest I have ever eaten. I have even started working out again, which I can do without needing a "goal" for change. My thinking is starting to change to eating and exercising for the love of my body, instead of in hatred of it. I still have days where I am way too concerned about what I look like, but I am learning to love myself more and more every day. I feel happier, healthier, and just have way more energy and love for life. I will love my body no matter my size, the opinions of others, or the standards of society. This body has been with me through rock climbing, playing sports that filled my soul, attending music festivals, making friends, and falling in love. The least I can do is love it and treat it the best I possibly can. Self-improvement is a lifelong journey, and I'm continuously excited for the future.
