To all my loved ones suffering from a mental disorder every day, I am proud of you in every way possible and I love you with all my heart.
A mental disorder is a syndrome characterized by clinically significant disturbance in an individual's cognition, emotion regulation, or behavior that reflects a dysfunction in the psychological, biological, or developmental processes underlying mental functioning. We all learn about mental disorders and what each one means. We learn about the symptoms and all the technical names. What we don’t learn about is how to love someone with one; we don’t learn about how we should act when a loved one is going through a mental disorder. It’s hard to understand what’s going through that person’s mind. It’s so easy for someone that’s not suffering from anxiety to say “oh, just go to school, what’s the big deal.”
Or, for someone to say to a person suffering through depression “why are you sad you have a great life.”
Along with “You’re so skinny, eat that burger” to someone going through an eating disorder.
Admittedly, I used to think these comments. I never was fully taught what exactly mental disorders were. Yes, I was taught the names of each one, and yea I was taught the symptoms. I wasn’t taught why people are going through this. I wasn’t taught how to handle a best friend wanting to kill herself, or a sibling having a mental breakdown because she didn’t want to go to school; or a boyfriend that can’t leave his room without flicking the light switch on and off three times. Many times people overlook a mental disorder because they can’t physically see it. Why can’t people understand that someone with depression doesn’t want to do something because they are feeling low? But we completely understand when someone can’t do something because they have a runny nose and a cough.
Last year, my cousin suffered extreme anxiety attacks; being at school, I never truly understood what actually was going on. I knew she wasn’t going to school, and I was so easy to say to her “just go.” It wasn’t until I was actually home, and saw one of the attacks in a place where she should have felt the safest. I remember crying because I just couldn’t understand it, and I didn’t know what to say to her to stop her from suffering. I felt lost, and I know everyone else did as well. What are you supposed to say/do when you have a loved one suffering a disorder that you can’t fully understand? I’ve also had a couple of close friends go through depression; another disorder where I just want to say, “be happy, why can’t you be happy.” Throughout all my experiences with loved one’s going through these disorders, I started to learn what to say and how to act.
Patience is key to helping a loved one go through a mental disorder; it can be so frustrating at times. Sometimes, you are just going to want to go up to them and shake them yelling, “What are you doing?” Unless you’ve been through that exact disorder, you don’t know what it’s like to feel what they are feeling. Mental disorders are hard. It’s not as easy as treating a cold or flu. You can’t just give a person with mental disorders soup and hope for them to feel better. I’m not a doctor or an expert at mental disorders, but I’ve watched loved ones suffer from them. Don’t give up on your loved one(s), always make sure they know you’re there and never stop loving them. There’s going to be many ups and downs, but if you never lose faith in them, they won’t lose faith in themselves.
