In an ideal world, we would all see ourselves through loving eyes. We would flaunt what we got, not compare ourselves to others and befriend the mirror -- but it's just not like that. Of course, you shouldn't need to implement hacks or tips to feel good about yourself, but we all know it's not that easy. I'll feel more confident when I feel more confident -- and that may require some help -- but I'm not going to instantaneously "love myself" because someone else told me to. Over the years, I've compiled a list of things that have changed the way I see or feel about myself -- whether that's permanently or temporarily -- and I’m here to share the wisdom.
Go without makeup for a few days.
Whether that's growing more comfortable in your own skin or feeling better when you finally do put makeup on (for me, it was both), going a few days without makeup is a surefire way to up your confidence level. I did this about four days before I went on a trip to Las Vegas, and it not only made going to the pool barefaced a whole lot easier, but I felt even better when I got all dolled up for the Billboard Music Awards the same day.
Work on the things you can change.
While most will argue that your weight is changeable, it's irrefutable that your body type is not. And while I think every body is beautiful, I'll be the first to say I would change my own, and trying to lose weight with a slow metabolism and a hatred for exercise is really difficult. I do it anyway, but it comes in bursts and it's a slow process. In the meantime, I like to put most of my motivation into my nighttime routine -- whitening my teeth, meticulously washing my face and giving my hair some TLC. Eating healthy and going to the gym is something I have to force myself to do every day and that puts me in an awful mood, so I like to listen to Tom Haverford every once in a while and treat myself. Looking down at my perfect cuticles and an unscathed coat of shiny red never fails to take the attention away from everything else fighting for my attention. When I have the time, I also like to go tanning (say what you will, but pale doesn't suit me).
Diet and exercise.
I know, I know. I’m a hypocrite, but hear me out. Even if I don't lose the weight I want to immediately, eating healthy and going to the gym makes me feel like I'm trying, which puts me in a less negative mindset. On top of that, I feel more energetic, and the process gives me a stronger sense of routine, which never fails to make me more productive. Setting reminders to drink water and making sure to space out my meals and count my calories gives me a sense of purpose that school or work doesn't. I only really get into the hang of this when I have something important coming up, but it's never a bad thing to need motivation.
Learn to accept compliments.
My roommates and friends are my biggest supporters without even knowing it. While I have never felt comfortable replying to a positive comment on my appearance, I've learned to do it anyway. It started with not wanting to come off as fishing for compliments, but over time it became easier. You will always have issues with yourself, but you also see yourself in a much harsher light than everyone else does. I look in the mirror and see frizzy, flat hair with too many dead ends, but I've been told many times -- by strangers, even -- that its length, color and thickness is something to be envious of. I may still pull apart my split ends when I'm bored in class (don't you dare lecture me), but now I recognize that a lot of people would kill to be able to grow their hair down to their hips. So find a good quality -- whether that's something you get a lot of compliments on, or something you've always liked about yourself -- and embrace it.
Do something you're good at.
I may not be the smartest person in the room, or the most athletic girl at the gym, but do you know what I am good at? Reading. So I'm going to go finish that 500-page book in a single day, or edit those 30 articles (after I write this one, of course), because I'm good at it. And when that fails me, I’ll just recite all 50 states in alphabetical order or dramatically perform Shakespeare's “All the world’s a stage” speech from “As You Like It,” because I have a photographic memory that very much likes to show off. Whatever it is you love, or are exceptionally good at, go do it. Go play your sport, or write that short story you've been working on, or pet a cat. God knows it takes a certain kind of soul to be a cat person.
Don't worry about what other people think.
I’m one to talk -- really. It came to my attention recently that I was rather self-conscious in my younger years, but now that I'm in college, I find that time hard to recall. Maybe it's that I've followed my own advice, or maybe I just grew out of it, but I’ve finally found myself not caring how I come across to other people, even on my worst days. I try to feel better about myself truly for myself, and that feels a lot different than doing it for someone else. Sometimes I remember that what I think will make me more beautiful -- whitening my teeth, going tanning, having clear skin -- is all due to societal expectations, but I can't really do anything about how that has altered my own preferences. What I can do is accept it, and maybe try to accept myself along the way (with a few accommodations, of course).
And as much as I hate cheesy quotes (or motivational articles, for that matter), it's true that you could be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, but there's still going to be someone who hates peaches. In my case, you could be Justin Bieber himself and I'll still prefer Harry Styles. It's just the way the cookie crumbles.
P.S. It’s OK to love yourself, but it’s also OK to need a little help. [Cue soft yet supportive shoulder punch they do in the movies.]
