First, I do want to state that I am by no means saying I know everything or have every answer. These are simply things I personally wish I knew and things I have learned for myself in the past couple years. They might not apply to everyone, but maybe someone will find it helpful. I am a newbie when it comes to lifting, and being "fit," but over the past couple years, I have learned a lot about how to approach this lifestyle.

I also title this article "Healthy" because everyone defines that different, and I respect that. This is just how I view and understand things.

1. You have to do it for yourself.

The most important thing that took me some time to learn and understand, is that being healthy, and exercising is something that you have to do for yourself, not to please anybody else. I know it is hard when there are all these expectations on how we should look, or what is labeled as beautiful, but entering a healthy lifestyle depends a lot on having a healthy mentality and self-love. If you want to loose weight, or gain weight, gain strength and muscle, or get lean, that is great, as long as it is what you want to do for your own benefit. If you simply want to exercise because you want to be active, then that is great too. It all depends on why you do it. It is for your happiness, because you want to push yourself and reach goals you have set. It shouldn’t be done because others expect you to.

I workout, and lift, and have a flexible diet simply because I love feeling strong, feeling healthy. I like to challenge myself, and I love seeing what I am capable of doing. I like feeling confident. I like lifting because it is my outlet to simply relax and focus on myself, in a way ignore the real world for a little and focus on myself.

2. Lifting will not make you "bulky" or "manly."

This is one that I grew up hearing everywhere, even from family and friends who warned me that if I got too into it, I would become this big “manly” person. Can I just say how ridiculous this sounds? No, lifting will not make you bulky in any way! Lifting is essential for loosing fat, you can’t just depend on cardio for it. Women who lift are very unlikely to look like men who do so, because, biologically, we are different. I simply hate the word manly as well, it is completely unrelated, and lifting is not an activity exclusive to men.

3. Ask for help, do your research, and if you can, help others.

If you want to start lifting but don’t know anything about it, research! There are thousands of video tutorials, blogs, articles, everything you can imagine. Ask a friend to help you out. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. When it comes to certain exercises, you want to make sure you are performing them correctly because you don’t want to get injured. Everyone has to start somewhere, and getting the basics down is important. I am constantly researching online, looking at videos and asking for help from people who know a lot more than me, and I learn something every day.

If you see someone struggling trying to figure out how to adjust a machine, or having a hard time taking a plate off, or simply looking confused, help them. There have been so many times people I don’t know have helped me by explaining how a machine works or taking plates out of a bar, and I am so thankful for that because it makes me feel more comfortable in the gym environment, and it makes you realize that no one is judging you.

4. Everyone is different.

With media being a big part of our lives, it is hard sometimes to ignore all these adds, or special diets and tricks that we see on Instagram for example. I am not saying these people don’t know what they are doing, they probably do. But you always have to understand that everybody is different, and what works for some people, doesn’t for others. So if something is not working for you, don’t beat yourself up. Learning is the result of trying over and over and over again. We learn from mistakes, and when it comes to what foods work best, or what type of cardio, it all depends on your unique body.

5. Ignore people around you. They aren’t judging you about how much you are lifting and what you are doing. It is not a competition.

I know this can be a hard one, and that’s why I stress the fact that you should have the mindset that you are doing it for yourself. Everybody starts equally, with no knowledge on lifting, and with very light weight. There is no need to worry about what people think about you, because most likely, they aren’t even looking at you! I used to be so worried about what other people would think and I would feel weak and get anxious because I thought me not knowing what I was doing was something that I would be judged for. The fact that you are trying to learn and pushing yourself is all that matters.

Some people tell me that I look very angry when I’m working out, but that’s just because I get in my own zone. I block out people because the only person I am competing with is myself. No one else should matter. And you should be happy that at least you are trying. I like to put in my headphones and block out other noise, I am usually blasting Reggaeton when I work out (it gets me pumped) and I try to ignore everyone around me. Sometimes I like wearing a hat or a hoodie, because mentally, it just helps me focus on myself.

Or if you are the opposite and like to talk, find a friend and workout together! It can also be great to have someone else who can push you and motivate you, and it can be fun as well.

“Don’t compare your chapter one to someone else’s chapter seven." That is something that has stuck with me because it is completely true. Everybody starts as a zero, so there is no need worrying what others are doing. All that matters is you.

6. It really does take time

There are so many things that are said in the media about “weight loss” and “how to build a booty”, and these 30-day programs that claim will make you grow a booty or loose 20 lbs. You can’t expect things to happen overnight . One should have a mentality that being healthy is a lifestyle and that consistency is what makes changes. Yes, maybe its been a month and you have seen no progress, but what about a year? Trust me, consistency pays off.

It takes time to learn what works for your body, and what foods are good for it as well.

7. It should be FUN!

Working out, in whatever way you choose to, should be something enjoyable. Make it something fun, make a playlist to keep you excited, try new things. Working out shouldn’t be something you dread, but something you look forward to.

8. There is a difference between weight loss and fat loss

This is something I wish I understood before I started changing my habits. Initially, I was so focused on loosing weight because that was all I thought about it and all I really expected to happen. With weight loss, comes muscle loss as well. Losing fat, on the other hand, is what lets people look lean and defined, as they are training different muscle groups as opposed to simply relying on cardio.

9. Flexibility is key

I used to do cardio every day for like 60-80 minutes on the elliptical and then finish off with some abs. I remember my diet was very restricting for a while (let’s be real, didn’t last as long). Did I loose weight? Yes of course, but I was also losing muscle. I would not allow myself to eat certain foods because I was scared my progress was going to be canceled out if I had a slice of pizza. If I could go back and tell myself that food isn’t the enemy, I would. It is hard to find a balance, and if you have been taught that being “skinny” is beautiful, then having a good relationship with food can be hard.

I personally have always been told that I had to be within a certain weight range to be considered healthy. I was simply so focused on getting onto that range, that I lost track of what really mattered. Eating clean is great, but you should never punish yourself for eating pizza with friends, or having ice cream one night while watching "Friends." There is nothing wrong with enjoying life! I do think that having a good diet is important and making sure you eat as “clean” as possible is great. Having a diet well balanced with protein, vegetables and fruits ensures that you give your body what it needs. But enjoying an extra slice of pie is not the end of the world. Never regret having a good time, your happiness is what is most important. That is where flexibility comes into play. Find a balance, and don’t make yourself miserable simply to reach a number on the scale or to make others happy.

Always keep yourself happy.