A personality quiz once asked me, “Would you rather your child be smart or kind?” Although it seems like an easy answer, I have realized society applauds intelligence and strength while neglecting the powers of kindness and honesty. What if admitting weakness actually isn’t weak? What if our outward strength is actually a weak defense?
I grew up in an environment where weakness was not discussed openly. It was silenced, and if you were honest, you would receive a glance of shocked concern. There was no warm understanding; there was only “strong”people who despised weakness. They broke the souls of the weak rather than gently handling them. For years I felt alone. When weakness and struggle are silenced, they grow louder. They lose their power only when it is openly confessed to understanding people.
It is not weakness when you are honest; it is weakness when you pretend as if you have all your life together. Take down your mask and your walls because there is power when you allow yourself to be vulnerable. It makes people realize they aren’t the only one dealing with darkness. Your wall numbs you from life’s downs, but it also numbs you from the joys. When people decide to be honest, don’t belittle them. Don’t laugh behind your built up walls; show them your weakness too!
My senior year of high school I began to have break downs. I went to counseling. Ever since 7th grade I had taken the most rigorous courses and stressed myself out. My counselor helped me to realize I had been trying to numb pain by being a perfectionist! My “strength” had actually revealed my disguised weakness. Stop elevating intelligence and success over warm kindness. Here’s the irony: vulnerable love is braver than prideful strength. When you love, they might hurt you, but if you hide your heart away, it will become stone. Be brave and allow your heart to take that risk.
I work with special education children. They don’t hide behind intelligence or strength; they allow themselves to be vulnerable. One was listening to classical music and began crying. He let himself express his feelings. Another can solve a word puzzle in two minutes but never brags. In fact, he spends most of his time trying to hug people. One girl is always trying to help you. Another will show you her love by placing her hand on you and just smiling. In a world full of impenetrable people, these kids are the salvation of our society. People make the mistake of calling them “weak”, but they are more fearless than all of us.
Let kindness shine in your life and do not be afraid of acknowledging your weakness. Speak up for those who have no voice. Be gentle when people are honest and let them know they aren't alone. Start valuing the bravery of vulnerable honesty and gentle kindness. The world needs it more than anything else.
