In the culture we are currently in, there seem to be a lot of underlying norms that everyone is expected to follow when texting someone you are just taking interest in, just start dating or feel a connection with. I am incredibly sick of watching my friends abide by these norms, which prevent them from saying what they feel, or even responding when they obviously get the text message. We, as women who usually fall prey to how we are expected to act while texting a man crush, need to take charge and start to alleviate this terrible texting culture.
One thing I cannot get over is watching my friends text a guy and, because they need to appear a certain way or act a certain way to get him to like them, they don't say exactly what they want to say. For example, one of my friends took interest in a guy and he asked her what she was doing this weekend. In reality, she had a lot of homework to do, and she was staying in to work on papers and read all weekend. But, she was afraid that he wouldn't like her if he thought all she did on the weekends was stay in and not "go out" like everyone seems to do. So, instead, she texted him that she is going to a house party on Friday, studying during the day on Saturday, then bar hopping Saturday night. Obviously, that story couldn't be further from the truth, but she felt she couldn't actually say what she was doing. Another example of this is when my friend lied to a student-athlete and said that she was really athletic. In all reality, she is a complete couch potato and you couldn't pay her to take the stairs, let alone do additional exercise throughout the day. The guy clearly took an interest in her, and every single day, he begged her to workout with him and go running with him in the morning. She had to come up with a "legitimate" excuse every single time he asked her to exercise with him. Eventually, because he thought they could get to know each other through exercising and through this common activity, he lost interest and she still doesn't understand why...
Another thing both men and women need to stop doing is not replying to a text in a certain time frame because we feel or appear "too eager," or don't want to lead someone on, or make them think I am more interested then I am... etc. The reasons are endless, and I personally just think it is so dumb. Everyone knows that our generation is on our phone 24/7, and to think that someone hasn't seen your text, you are wrong. As a side note, read receipts are the worst possible thing that can happen to a generation that is fueled by the anxiety from their technology: that is just cruel. Bottom line, if you have something to say, SAY IT. If someone texts me, the last thing I consider is whether or not I should text them back within 30 seconds or 10 minutes. I read something, and reply to it. If that is considered to a guy as me being too desperate, or I have nothing better to do, they have the problem, not me. Clearly they don't value what I have to say if I have to say it within a certain time interval for them to care.
Lastly, another thing we need to do is stop caring about how many texts we send someone when they don't respond. Everyone likes to be texted; it makes us feel wanted and feel good. You cannot honestly say that you aren't happy when you have a slue of texts to check after class. If I said something important to someone, and they don't respond within a couple hours or so, I have absolutely no problem quickly sending them a text with similar language to "Hey, I just want to make sure you got my text." It is highly possible that the person is in class, or just plain busy. But, if you have things to say, just say it. Don't "check" yourself on what you need to say because you can't send "x" amount of texts in a certain time frame.. That is ridiculous.
There is no better person than yourself. So, when our communication culture is deeply engrained in the texting atmosphere, why waste who you are to get to know someone because you have to pretend to be someone you're not, and then follow norms because you feel like you have to. Wasting your life in front of your screen waiting until "he" texts back, because you texted him three hours ago, is not a fun way to live.
