"You have a complex compound heterozygous MTHFR mutation", the doctor said it like it was nothing. I frowned. "I have what?" The doctor then proceeded to give me a run down of this genetic mutation that will forever have affects on my lifestyle. I did not think it was a big deal, until I realized just how much I do in order to function on a regular basis. If you have any form of autoimmune disease, Chronic illness, Chronic pain, Chronic fatigue, I know you can relate.
"I can't eat that... It has Folic acid"
A lot of people do not realize that Folic acid is like poison to our bodies. Due to my bodies inability to process Folic acid into Folate, I can't really have Folic acid. Literally everything has Folic acid. My cereal, my chips, my crackers, my pasta, my energy drinks, my protein bars. Everything! Life slowly became a process of checking the labels on every food product before throwing it in the basket and taking it home. And no matter how careful you are with what you eat, you still feel like shit half the time. Some things can't be fixed.
"No, I'm not sick, I'm just sick..."
The constant battle of explaining to co-workers, friends, bosses, teachers, and my family that no, I do not have a cold, or a bout of depression, I'm just sick, is a horribly draining battle. It is not that I am lazy, or physically dying, I just really cannot bear the thought of getting out of bed some days; I literally do not have the energy or courage to move. I am not lazy, I literally cannot move.
"Maybe if you just exercised a bit..."
Please tell me how to exercise, when every move I make, hurts like hell some days. I love to exercise, and get outside, move, breath fresh air; But there are some days when I physically cannot do this. I know it seems like I'm "milking" my illness, but I hate when people say that, because usually those saying it, have never experienced it. I want to exercise, I want to stay healthy, to go outside and ride a bike, and I do, but some days I can't.
Medical Cocktails anyone?
When my primary doctor first explained my condition, I immediately asked if there was anything I could take or do in order to make the effects less life-changing. And so began the continuous stream of medications, supplements, apple cider vinegar, herbal teas, vitamins, Epsom salt baths, dry-skin brushing, and detoxing routines. I have a routine now, and a cocktail I take every morning; If I don't, I will regret it as the day progresses.
Minimum salary and constant expenses
When I started college, I realized that I would have a lot of school loans to pay off, and then I started seeing my doctor, a lot, trying to get better. Yet I keep getting worse, and keep spending money, and I need to. I need to see doctors, and buy medications, and go to the ER on occasion.
Some days, you get an energy burst
And you think you can concur the world in that burst, because you never have the energy on normal days, so why not, right?!
And then you crash hard
And sleep for days, maybe weeks
Because sleeping makes everything better, at least it makes it feel like it's better and then you realize you have to go back to work and school, and life.
Did I mention your in pain all the time?
Whether it is joint pain, muscle pain, headaches, digestion problems, pain from having to explain to everyone over and over what is actually wrong with you; you have pain in your life.
And even though everything sucks, and it's really hard to move through life at a "normal" functionality level
we are STILL awesome individuals.
